


A Fucking Bet

by Crazyheart



Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bipolar Disorder, Bonfire, Cabin Fic, Dare, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Fucking, Gløgg, Hot Tub, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Parallels, SKAM Big Bang, Sex, Snow, Stars, Winter, Workplace Relationship, a birthday party, a hint of consentual light dom/sub but not really, alternative universe - fuckbuddies, and the angst is more just pining to be honest, it's mostly silly really, kink negotiation sort of, light choking that isn't really choking?, sex outside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 03:10:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazyheart/pseuds/Crazyheart
Summary: – Being fuckbuddies without developing feelings is impossible, Isak. Fucking always leads to trouble.Even was looking at Isak with laughter in his eyes. They were tidying in the storage room, and their conversation had taken an interesting turn. Even had just stood up after rummaging through some boxes and he had to stroke away the hair that fell into his face. He looked damn hot.Isak tried to hide how Even’s look and movements affected him. – Fuck, no, it's possible, he protested, even though he had very limited experiences on the subject. He was still pretty sure it was manageable to separate fucking from love. – Fucking is just simple chemistry, nothing more.This fic is a fuck buddies AU/ Canon Divergence in Isak’s POV (and one chapter in Even's POV). Isak and Even are just friends. They make a bet and decide to fuck only five times and then go back to being friends again. Isak hopes that he might be able to fuck his crush out of his system, once and for all. Who knows what Even’s motives are. ;)





	1. Kaffebrenneriet (pragma)

**Author's Note:**

> [A Fucking bet](https://vimeo.com/257299834) from [Norwegianssweethearts](https://vimeo.com/user50357893) on [Vimeo](https://vimeo.com).
> 
> Skam Big Bang is on and it’s so good to see more Skam fics posted! It's so good to finally be able to post it with this beautiful video/ trailer @norwegianssweethearts has made. It’s so good. :) 
> 
> Thank you to my beta's, [@coolauntskam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolauntskam/profile), [@evakuality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality/pseuds/evakuality) and [@arindwell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arindwell/pseuds/arindwell)! You've been so good helping me with this fic, I just can't believe how lucky I am.
> 
> I don't think I need to warn about a lot in this fic. I hope you like it. The only warning must be... there will be fucking. But I guess that's kinda implied.

[A Fucking bet](https://vimeo.com/257299834) from [Norwegianssweethearts](https://vimeo.com/user50357893) on [Vimeo](https://vimeo.com).

It started in November 2017, when Isak began to work at Kaffebrenneriet, where Even already had his evening job.

Well, it actually started long before that, in the autumn of 2016, when Even transferred from Bakka to Nissen to take his last year there. It started when Isak and Even smoked and talked at the Kosegruppa gathering. It started when Isak fell so hard for Even that he joined him at home one evening for a joint, for grilled cheese toasties, laughs and long, lingering looks.

It all stopped that same evening when Even's girlfriend Sonja turned up, making Isak feel like a fool for falling for Even. A fool for hoping that they could have become something. Well, at least he hadn’t done something stupid like trying to kiss him.

After that Isak left Kosegruppa, ignored Vilde's requests to come back and focused on school instead. He didn't see much of Even for a while. Until, Jonas and Mahdi met Even at a Halloween party and bonded over some weed, apparently talking about movies and music. That was when Even started to hang with them from time to time.

Isak and Even slowly became friends, too. It had taken some time before Isak managed to tame his frustrating crush, though. The slow process of becoming friends was painful, but in the end, he had decided that he wanted Even in his life. And if friendship was his only option, then friendship was what he wanted.

Now, over a year later, something new started, when Isak needed some extra money, and got the chance to work some hours at KB. Isak guessed that Even probably was less than thrilled when he found out. Not that they weren't friendly, not at all. Isak just knew that Even loved his job and loved things as they were. And Isak was supposedly a disaster waiting to happen.

Isak had somehow gotten a reputation of being a mess. And not just because he was clumsy and awkward at times. They said he was fucking when he had the chance and smoking or drinking when he didn't—and sometimes, doing everything at the same time. He was rumored to have slept with at least half his class, male and female alike, and had a tendency to take whatever he wanted. It was bullshit, of course. Isak was maybe partying a lot, but he was studying a lot too, and he was still a fucking virgin. The rumours probably started because he used to hook up with girls to hide that he liked boys for a long time. Until he discovered that he could hook up with boys, and started to try that. Everyone thought he was a player, even his best buddies. Well. At least he was out now, or at least people had a lot of doubt about his preferences. Isak didn't care what they thought, anyway.

Even, on the other hand,  was… well, Isak didn't know. But Even seemed to have control of his life. He went to some fancy private media school, worked in the evenings and hung out with his friends. He had broken up with Sonja about a year ago, but he didn't seem to have found any new love interest. Not that Isak cared. He was very careful not to care.

He still felt like he knew Even well. They weren’t close, but Isak had still gotten some glimpses of what was behind Even’s cool facade. Last year before Christmas Even had a manic and depressive episode, and Isak happened to be a little too close for comfort, both physically and emotionally. A while after that, Even had told Isak and the guys that he had bipolar disorder. Isak had to admit that he had learned a lot from that whole situation, amongst other things to scrap some of his attitudes towards mental illnesses.

During this last year Even seemed to have gotten his illness under control. He kept going to his therapist and kept taking his medication and was in control of his life. He thrived. He had worked hard for it and probably didn't need a messed up teenager in his life.

Because, yeah. Although the rumours about Isak was wrong, he was still messed up. He was basically a clumsy fuckup with limited social skills. Or at least limited interest in small talk and working with people. He could be charming if he wanted to, but preferably in small doses. He kept tripping over and breaking stuff, and he kept saying inappropriate things. Even had, in spite of his easy-going manners, arrested him more than once for it.

And now Isak was in Even' coffee shop—Even's treasured job.

Isak knew the job was some sort of safe haven for Even. Even was the type of guy who thrived on talking to people, serving them, bringing them joy.

Isak wasn’t like that at all. However, he hoped that he could do an alright job, at least do the dishes or something. He needed the money.

On his first day he was nervous, but he hadn't lost hope yet. Focus and determination should take him a long way, he decided. He wasn't going to mess up Even's workplace. Even wouldn't have to notice him at all, actually.

Well, the latter turned out to be difficult. When Isak turned up on his first day at the coffee shop, Even was the guy to tell him how it all worked.

– Hi, Isak, Even said with a grin. He was tying his apron, which made him look dangerously attractive. – Welcome to KB.

Isak’s stomach flipped at the warmth in Even's eyes and the sound of his name on Even’s lips. He ignored the feeling and grinned back. – Thanks.

He still felt silently embarrassed over the fact that he once could be so foolish as to fall so hard for another guy who only had friendly intentions. It was not even helpful to know that Even was pan (he had told the guys one drunk night a while after he broke up with Sonja). Even had still not given any sign he was interested in Isak, so.

Isak was over his crush now, of course. Totally. It was just difficult sometimes to guard himself against Even's natural charm.

Even introduced Isak to the other two who were working that day, the manager Marit and another barista, Niklas. Then Even told Isak to put away his bag and dragged him along to show him around in the shop. When he told Isak about his tasks, Isak was relieved that it seemed manageable. In the beginning, he got to focus on the simpler things.

– Our manager, Marit, has told me that I should take extra care of you now in the beginning, Even explained. He had a slightly tired look on his face. – It can be nice to have a familiar face around.

– Sure, Isak said, with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Of course. Of fucking course. Even taking extra care of him sounded like trouble. First of all, Even was probably a little frustrated to be forced to babysit the new guy, and Isak hated to be a burden. Second of all, Isak was worried about himself. It wasn't like Isak still had a crush on Even, but he imagined that he easily could fall for him again if he spent too much time with him. That should not happen.

Even studied his face. – You don't look thrilled.

_Fuck._ Always so observant.

– Oh, it's alright, Isak said quickly. – It's just… I can imagine that guarding the rookie isn't the most fun thing to do, Even. I am so sorry.

Even raised his eyebrows. – You’re worrying about  _me_?

Isak shrugged, feeling embarrassed.

Even smiled, and his whole face shone. – And here I was, worrying that _you_ would feel trapped with me.

Isak was so surprised that a choked laugh spilled out of him. – Whatever for?

It was Even’s turn to shrug. – You know, I have my issues. I'm not the most easy person to live with. Or work with.

– You're amazing at your job, Even, I couldn't have been luckier. I just hope I won't fuck up.

Even stared at him, and another smile slowly grew on his face. – I'm sure it's going to be alright, Isak. We know each other a little, after all, don't we? We'll have some fun, just you wait and see.

_Fun._  Isak felt warmth spread throughout his chest. How could Even make such an innocent word sound like something exciting? He nodded, and felt a little silly. – Yeah, sure. I'm just a little nervous, I guess.

Even smiled and winked his weird wink. – Don't worry, Isak. I'll have you relaxed in no time.

Isak couldn't help but huff at that. – I'm sure you will, he muttered. Even only gave him another look, one Isak couldn't quite decipher, but it made his stomach turn—and not in the ´I'm going to vomit' way. More in a ´butterflies-in-my-stomach' way. It felt weird.

That was the first sign for Isak that he was in serious trouble with little hope of escape.


	2. The Storage Room (eros)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even make a bet. Things get hot in the storage room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Let me know if you do or don't!

– Being fuckbuddies without developing feelings is impossible, Isak. Fucking  _ always _ leads to trouble.

Even was looking at Isak with laughter in his eyes. They were tidying in the storage room, and their conversation had taken an interesting turn. Even had just stood up after rummaging through some boxes and he had to stroke away the hair that fell into his face. He looked damn hot.

Isak tried to hide how Even’s look and movements affected him. – Fuck, no, it's possible, he protested, even though he had very limited experiences on the subject. He was still pretty sure it was manageable to separate fucking from love. – Fucking is just simple chemistry, nothing more. 

Isak had been about a week at KB now, and was starting to get the hang of things. Luckily, he hadn't fucked up too much yet. Even was still mentoring him, though, and Isak was still too charmed for his own comfort. He tried to suppress it, but it just wasn't working.

– Chemistry? Even asked, wiggling his eyebrows and grinning. 

Isak tried to ignore the teasing look in his eyes. – Yeah. Chemistry and physiology. Hormones surging through the body. A physical relief. That's it.

Even still looked amused, and very doubtful. – How do you know this, Isak? he asked, and bumped his shoulder. Grinned.  – Have you tested it out, maybe? Do you have a fuckbuddy success story in your pocket? The guys seem to think you're a lucky bastard in that department?

Isak hid his hot face by focusing on the boxes he needed to sort out. – Well, maybe not tested it out, but I have heard of others’ experiences. And I know the science of it all. Fucking doesn't have to lead to feelings. You just need to be careful. Follow the right rules.

– Oh yeah? Even laughed. – And what rules are those, then?

Isak looked up. Even was staring at him now, and he had a hint of something daring in his eyes. 

Isak stretched his back, and leant against one of the shelves, while he gathered his thoughts. – First of all, you have to limit the number of fucks. 

Even had an apprehensive look on his face, so Isak continued. – If you fuck too many times, feelings can develop. The fucking releases some strong hormones, after all. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, adrenaline and  phenylethylamine.  Enough of that love juice could make anyone fall in love. But if you limit it to, say, five times, you're good.

Even laughed a short laugh. – Okay? And what are the other rules, professor Valtersen?

Isak rolled his eyes at the bad nickname. – Uhm, no kissing when not fucking. Kissing releases oxytocin, too. The cuddle hormone. And dopamine, endorphins and phenylethylamine. Too much of it can lead to feelings.

Even cocked his head, watching him. – Not even a kiss on the cheek, then? 

Isak hesitated. Even always touched his friends and kissed them on their cheeks. There didn't have to be anything wrong with that. – Well, no kissing on the mouth, at least.

– Okay, Even said and smiled. For some reason, he suddenly looked very pleased. – No kissing on the mouth when not fucking. But other signs of affection are okay in between? Like hugs or cuddles?

Isak frowned. – Well, I guess it depends. I would say you should be careful with hugging, because of the cuddle hormone oxytocin. But then… You're so tactile anyway, I don't think you could manage without it.

Even laughed, and hugged Isak, just to prove his point. Isak had to struggle not to blush. 

– True, Even said, squeezing his shoulder. – So, is spending the night okay in an arrangement like this? 

Isak had to smile, as he watched the light in Even's eyes. – Sure, but it should be limited to those five times, I think. Otherwise, it could easily get mixed up with a relationship. 

– Ah, that sounds reasonable, Even said, leaning on the shelf next to Isak. – But wait, what counts as fucking? Is it only getting off or penetration? 

Isak blushed, and looked at his feet. He wasn’t sure whether it was proximity or the subject they were talking about, but he felt hot in his head. – Getting off, don’t you think? At least if they touch each other?

He peeked up. Even looked a little hot in his head, too, with his slightly pink cheeks. – Yeah, that sounds fair. 

Isak swallowed. For some reason he couldn't help imagining too well getting off with Even. He definitely shouldn't think like that right now. – And I think that getting off several times could count as one if it’s happening in the same sleepover, he added.

– Oh, sure, that makes sense, Even said, in a husky voice. – Are there more rules, then?

Isak shook his head. – Nah, I think that should be enough.

Of course, he could have put in some rules about limiting the cuddles even more, but he was pretty sure he had a good set of rules to hinder falling in love. 

Even nodded. – So. The rules are: 1) Only get off or fuck five times or at five separate sleepovers, 2) sleepover only when getting off or fucking, and 3) kissing on the lips is only allowed when fucking. And that should ensure no feelings? 

– Yeah, Isak said. 

Just then, the manager, Marit, came into the room. She looked a little tired and stressed out. – I have closed the shop, guys, and Niklas tidied up everything. I need to go soon. Are you finishing up soon? 

– Yeah, it's alright, Even smiled. – We just have another section left. 

Marit smiled back. Even always managed to charm her, no matter how tired she was. – Well, just lock up everything when you're finished, then. I'm ready to go home. Bye, guys!

Isak and Even both said goodbye and continued working. Isak felt that his cheeks were still hot. He didn't know if it was because of their conversation, or if it was because of the fact that he was going to be alone with Even in the coffee shop for a while longer. Probably both.

Even lifted a heavy box up on one of the shelfs, and looked a little flustered when he turned back towards Isak. He shook his head. – I don’t buy it at all, though, he said.

– What don't you buy? 

– I don't buy that an arrangement like that could work without at least one person developing feelings, Even said, and studied Isak's face. – It always happens. 

The challenge in his voice did something to Isak. – No. I am 100 % certain, he said. – This is foolproof. It's science!

He caught Even's incredulous stare and raised eyebrows, and had to laugh. – I am certain of it, Even!

Something dangerous glinted in Even's eyes. – Certain enough to try it out yourself, then?

Isak huffed out another laugh. – Well, I'm not exactly looking for a fuckbuddy, but I'm sure I could. 

Even leant a little closer. – Are you saying that if I said that I wanted to be your fuckbuddy, on your terms, you're certain that neither of us would develop feelings?

As Even said this, it felt like electricity jolted through Isak, and right now, he wasn't sure about a damned thing. He tried to school his features into something that might pass as indifferent, but he doubted it worked. He swallowed. – I'm certain. 

Even's stare was dizzying. – You know what, I bet that at least one of us would develop feelings, he said. 

– Well, I bet that we wouldn't. 

Even smiled a slow smile. Isak couldn't look away from his face. 

– Okay, how about we make it interesting? Even said then.

_ Oh fuck _ , that didn't sound good. Isak knew he had to play it cool, though. – What do you have in mind? he said.

Even took a deep breath. –  Let's make it a bet. We try this fuck buddy thing and see how it goes. If I win, you'll have to arrange a party for all our friends, where you declare that I am the master of love. If you win, I will have to do the same, and declare you the master.

Isak stared at him, feeling heat surge through his body, just thinking about it.  As many times as he had stolen looks at Even, as many times as he had masturbated to erotic fantasies involving him, Isak never imagined that any of those flights of fancy could ever become  _ real _ . Was Even serious? 

– You're kidding me right now, aren't you? Isak asked. – This is a joke?

Even tilted his head back a little, still holding Isak's gaze. His eyes were dark. – No. Not at all. I'm dead serious. 

Isak's heart beat so hard it almost hurt. He thought for a moment. If he lost, it would be a bitter experience. Possibly being in love with Even and having to arrange a fucking party. So why did it sound so tempting? Was it the possibility of fucking Even? 

Of course it was. He couldn't count how many times he had dreamt of kissing and having sex with Even. Being close to him. Even if being fuckbuddies was unsatisfactory compared to a real relationship, it was more than nothing. 

But what about his inexperience? Isak wasn't exactly as experienced as the rumours about him claimed that he was. Far from it. He had only made out with a couple of guys and had never got off with anyone. He wasn't really nervous about his skills, it was more about… Was he ready to do all that with a... fuckbuddy? To have his first time like that? And was he ready to do all that with  _ Even _ , the one he used to have this mind-blowing crush on? 

That was a long time ago now, though. He was over it, he was. He just was charmed by the guy. And he didn't know if fucking Even was a smart thing to do.

He lifted his head and met Even's gaze. Even looked tense. But then he flashed Isak a smile, and he looked relaxed. – What do you say?

– I don't know, Isak said.

Even lifted his eyebrows. – What, are you scared of losing? 

– Of course not, Isak stuttered. – It's just… 

Even smiled. – I thought you were braver than this, Isak, he mocked.

Isak sighed. – I'm not scared or anything, Even. But there’s just the thing that… I kind of haven't done it before.

Even looked confused. – You already said that you haven't tried a fuckbuddy before. I haven't either.

– No, I mean, I haven't  _ fucked _ anyone. Before.

_ Oh, fuck _ . He hadn't meant to be that specific.

Even stared at him. – Oh, but...

– But everyone says I fuck around? Isak interrupted, feeling awkward. – Yeah, I know, it’s hilarious. I have hooked up with people, but never… Yeah.

When Isak saw regret in Even’s face, and realized that his friend was about to take back the whole bet, he was quick to add: – It’s no big deal, I just had to think about it for a second, you know.

– Sure, Even nodded. He almost looked guilty (why in the world did he feel guilty?). – But it is a big deal, Isak. Fucking for the first time should be with someone you really… feel right about. 

That was the thing though. Even felt  _ very  _ right, probably too right. But maybe… Maybe having sex finally would help him get rid of the pesky feeling stuff that he struggled to get rid of? Every time he thought he was over Even, something would happen or Even would do something to make his feelings come back. Maybe he could fuck it all out of his system?

He bit his lip. – Even. I’m eighteen and I still haven't slept with anyone. Do you think I care much about feeling right or not? Let’s do this. Five times. Nothing more. And then go back to being friends.

Even still looked doubtful. – But what if you feel bad about it? I mean, I am not really that experienced, either. I have never been with a boy like that before. But I wouldn't like it if you felt pushed into something you don't really want.

Isak felt kind of relieved that Even was new to being with boys, too. And Even’s concern made his chest ache. – I could say stop, he said. – That could be the fourth rule. If one of us says stop, the bet’s over. 

– Yeah, okay, I like that.

They stared at each other, and the silence in the small storage room was frustrating. 

– So, Isak said, licking his lip. – We're really doing this? 

– We're really doing this, Even said.

Isak's heart was beating way too fast. He still had a question. – But… but how would we know about the emotions in the end? It’s not like we can measure it objectively, right? You could easily lie and say that you are in love, just as I could lie and say that I'm not? 

Even frowns. – Well, I suppose if you fall in love, but lie about it to win a bet, then that love isn't very strong, is it? And if I don't fall in love, but lie and say that I have, then I'm basically an asshole anyway. 

– That's true, Isak nodded and thought for a moment. – I still think we should have some sort of a measure, though. Maybe a short survey that we should answer truthfully. I’ll see if I can find one. 

Even smiled a wide smile, and his eyes were filled with something like fondness. – Isak. Your weird scientific mind never ceases to amaze me. But that's alright. A short survey or something like that is fine by me.

– Okay. For science, you know. 

He laughed a little of his own bad joke.

– For science, Even muttered, and looked at him with wide eyes. – Okay? You say yes to doing this?  he whispered, his eyes on Isak. His hair was mussed. His lips were slightly parted. Isak felt such intense longing he thought he might combust. 

– Yeah, I do,  Isak breathed, licking suddenly dry lips. He heard a tortured sound rumble out of Even's chest and watched as his captivating eyes dropped from his eyes to his mouth. 

Isak swallowed. Fuck, he wanted to kiss Even so bad.

Even's breath was coming out harshly.  – Wow, great, he said, and looked both excited and nervous. – We should probably plan out the first time a little, right? Set a date, maybe?

– No. 

Isak turned his body to the side so that he was fully facing Even, the action bringing their faces so close they could feel each other's breath on their faces. He took a deep breath. – We do it now. To seal the deal. Uhm, if you want to, I mean. Do you want to?

Even swallowed audibly.  – Uh, yeah, I do. I think. No, I know.

Even leaned towards Isak, so close, that Isak could smell him, could feel the heat from his body on his skin. He couldn't believe that this was happening. Even traced Isak's face with his right hand, his fingers sliding over Isak's cheeks, his lips. He leaned in and whispered in Isak's ear, like a confession  –  I want this so much.

Isak nearly shut his eyes in relief.  –  So do I, he gasped. His hands reached out and grasped at Even's shirt, pulling him closer. Suddenly Even's body was flush against his. The hunger surging through Isak at that moment was so intense that he didn't know what to do. He stared at Even through hooded eyes.  –  You're so fucking sexy, he breathed without thinking, his lips brushing against Even's. His body was tense with arousal. 

–  You think? Even whispered, his eyes fluttering shut.  His lips closed the distance to Isak's mouth. –  Oh God, Isak... Then with a sound that was a cross between a sob and a moan, Even fully claimed Isak's mouth in a deep, hungry kiss. Isak shut his eyes and focused on the sensations. Their mouths and tongues were eagerly licking, sucking, as they clung to each other.

Even’s mouth was gentle and yet desperate, soft and yet strong against Isak's, taking Isak's breath away. Damn, the guy could kiss, Isak couldn't help but think. He moaned into the kiss as he shuddered with complete surrender, melting against Even.  –  Even... he whimpered brokenly as he opened his mouth and captured Even's wet tongue. Isak was overwhelmed with want , and he didn't care about the consequences. He just wanted Even. When Even eventually released his lips, and they leaned back and locked eyes, Isak felt as though he would fall apart if Even didn't take him right there, right then.

So he made a decision. He started to open his jeans, while he continued to claim kisses from Even. Even didn't say anything, just unbuckled his belt, too. Isak tore his shirt off. Even’s shirt came off, too. All the time they stared at each other. Isak didn't know whether they didn't know what to say, or if no words were necessary. In no time at all, they were both gloriously naked, their pulsing cocks rubbing against each other's. 

Even started to kiss Isak's neck, chest and belly, as he dragged himself down on his knees. The tenderness in his movements made Isak tremble. Why was Even so sweet and tender? Even grabbed hold of Isak's hips, and Isak felt like he was about to faint when Even leant down, tasting him.  _ God _ , the velvety-wetness of Even's tongue sent shivers through Isak as he licked at him. Even took Isak's dick into his warm mouth, and  _ fuck, it was good _ . Isak had never felt anything like it before. Even locked eyes with him when he had his mouth on him, and fuck, he looked so beautiful and felt so amazing. A ferocious growl of lust tore out of Isak’s throat as he allowed Even to blow his mind with that erotic sucking. Even licked and sucked and hummed around his dick, making Isak moan every time.

Isak was so hungry for Even, for finally being able to feel, to touch, to rub, to consume. He clutched at Even's hair, his chest, his shoulders, trying his best to keep standing up. Isak  stared into Even’s eyes and his chest was aching with a warm, tender feeling, at the same time as the tingling lust rushed through his whole body.

When Isak came, he groaned, grunted and whimpered as his body convulsed in ecstasy. Even jacked him off and Isak couldn't stop coming. It was so good it was almost frightening. As he fought to get his breath back, he wondered: How could he ever manage to stop doing this? He doubted that he ever would.

Still fighting to regain his breath he pulled Even back on his feet. Even had mussed hair and red lips and looked almost drunk from sucking his dick. Was that a thing? Isak didn't have a clue, he only knew that he wanted to help Even out now. He had never done it before, but he still wanted to try. He let his hands roam Even’s back as he kissed Even's jaw and his neck. He felt so good, so real. Even was panting by the time Isak's hands made it to his ass. Isak cupped his ass and squeezed, and Even actually whimpered. Isak held his ass, kneading his cheeks, as he kissed his way down his chest and along his abs until he got to the front of his dick.

Isak ran his hands back up Even's thighs and around his hips to grip his ass again. Running his lips from his sack to the tip, Isak was trembling almost as badly as Even was. This was going to be a long, hot night and Isak planned to enjoy every moment of it. He lifted up enough to rub his chin along Even's shaft. Even tangled his fingers into Isak's hair.

–  Fy faen, Isak… He sounded like he'd just run a marathon. Isak knew he was doing him right.

Isak sucked on him a little, running his tongue around the crown enough to have his legs shaking. He looked up and met Even’s gaze on him, while he sucked on his dick.

It didn't take much more. Even moaned:  – Fuck, I'm... I'm…

Isak took the hint. Even was coming.  Isak didn't know if he was ready to swallow, so he slid back, as he started to jack off Even in strong strokes. He kept Even’s gaze.  –  Grab hold of me.

His voice was low and so full of lust that it didn't even sound like him.

Even held Isak's shoulders. His whole body arched as he came up onto his toes and gripped Isak's shoulders for dear life.  –  Oh, Fuuuuuck! His groan was drawn out and the strangled sound seemed to rise up from his feet. His cock blasted out cum that smacked against Isak's chest. Even was whimpering and slumped against the shelf as Isak finished stroking his cock. His body was like a limp rag. 

Isak wrapped his arms around Even's waist and let him sink down against him. Even was still breathing heavily. Even sighed into the side of Isak's head as he kissed Even's neck.  –  Oh, god… That was amazing.

The way he felt in Isak's arms; sated and happy, was so good. Isak licked around his ear and hugged him close.  –  Well, baby, we have four more times to enjoy this. 

Even looked at him with something dark in his eyes, and Isak regretted saying it at once. It reminded him, reminded them both, about the fact that their agreement was something temporary.  – But we have all night if you  feel like a sleepover, he added.

Even nodded, finding his breath.  – This isn't the most comfortable place to sleep that I know of, he admitted. – But there's a sofa in the back here that we can sleep on. And as long as we're out of here way before the first guys come for work, I guess we're good.

Isak smiled, wondering if it would be okay to kiss Even again. His dick was already rising again and soon ready for more fun. Even caressed his cheek, and stroked his fingers through his hair.  – So soft, he muttered. Then he kissed Isak slowly on his lips. Isak’s chest ached in wonder. He couldn't believe how sweet and tender Even was. He somehow managed to make a quickie in the storage room into something beautiful. It could be because of the bet, of course, but right now, Isak didn’t care. He just took what he could get, both the hot and the sweet. Everything. 

Soon their kisses were deeper and more frantic. Even groaned.  –  Let's go over to that sofa. I want another go.

So they did. Soon Isak was melting as Even's hands roamed his body. Even's touch was so light and appreciative that it made Isak feel cherished. There was so much fondness in his eyes that Isak hardly could breathe.  _ What was this? _ Isak had never imagined that getting off with someone would feel like this. That he would feel so raw, so emotional and exposed. It was probably only hormones, of course. But still.  _ Why was Even so tender? _ It didn't exactly help. 

Isak felt like he needed to guard himself somehow, but he was too far gone. He scolded himself inwardly for his lack of control but even that couldn't help snap him out of the emotional and lustful haze he was under. This time, when they were lying on the sofa, rubbing against each other, coming into each other's joined hands, Isak felt like he had his nerves and feelings outside his own skin. 

Afterwards, when he was about to fall asleep close to Even's warm body, he realized that it was very unlikely that he would be able to fuck away his crush. Being intimate with Even had already made him strangely emotional. How the fuck was he supposed to survive five times of this without developing deeper feelings? For every time he did this, he would probably only fall deeper. Still, he knew that he would never call the bet off. If he could have this again, even for only a few times, he would. He would take anything he could get.


	3. Even's Place (agape)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even go to Even's place, they bring up old memories and make new ones.

– Do you wanna follow me home tonight? 

Even’s voice was warm against Isak's ear. Isak was standing at the counter at Kaffebrenneriet, trying to focus on washing the coffee machine. Isak looked up and realized, like for the hundredth time, that Even had the bluest eyes he had ever seen. They were shockingly, almost frighteningly, blue. It was a cold Friday in the beginning of December and it had been a week since the official start of their arrangement. He and Even had spent several hours in the storage room at KB that first night, until their backs were sore from the old sofa, their bodies were sticky with sweat and cum, and they decided to go home to wash up and get some clean clothes. 

On his way home, Isak had felt indestructible and scared shitless at the same time. He didn't regret for a moment that he had had his first time in a storage room, with Even. He could never regret that. However, he had realized that he wanted Even so badly, it was ridiculous, and getting off with him that one night had only made it worse. 

The first thing Isak had done when he came home, was to try to have a scientific attitude about it all. He had searched for a survey about being in love and found one that didn’t seem too bad. He printed it out and decided to fill out one now and one when the bet was over. Then he did a quick google search about love, about its descriptions and definitions, and was immediately baffled over how much stuff he found. There were so many books written on the subject, that it was overwhelming. He found a couple of books that he decided to find in the library. He also read about how people had been trying to describe and define love for ages. The Greeks had even named the different types of love, trying to categorize it. 

After the night at Kaffebrenneriet, Isak and Even had seen each other every day, working or hanging out. The vibe between them had been light and easy so far, even though Isak was thinking too much about Even and had more than one moment of awkwardness. Too many times, Even caught Isak staring at him. Often, it was at his eyes. More often, it was at his body. It didn't help that Even was a tactile dude, of course. He was hugging and touching Isak every day, and it left Isak flustered and blushing every time.

They hadn't fucked or had another sleepover yet, though. Isak had to admit to himself that he had been trying to postpone the sex as long as possible, so they could maybe hang around, watch some movies, play some games or chat instead. He wasn't entirely clear about his own motives, but he wanted this arrangement to last for as long as possible.

So far, it had worked alright, but it also made Isak feel like he was going around in a haze of lust, wanting Even, day after day. Every time they hung out together, he felt it, and every time Even gave him a hug or ruffled his hair he felt it. He was blushing and stuttering and trying to control himself. How Even felt about it all, he didn't know. Even didn't seem to want to end the bet, though, so Isak took that as a good sign.

– My parents are gone for the weekend, Even added, suddenly looking a little nervous. He was leaning against the counter, studying Isak's reaction.  – So you could stay the night if you want to . 

The question in his eyes was evident. Isak swallowed, and nodded. He couldn't say no, hell, he didn't want to. He had wanted and waited long enough.

Even's smile was breathtaking, and when he put his arm around Isak's shoulder and kissed his cheek, Isak blushed. He sent Even a long look, but Even only shrugged.  – It's okay by the rules, Isak, you know that.

_ Yeah _ . Isak knew he should have thought more about those rules. Even’s touches and kisses were slowly and certainly going to kill him. 

– Uhm, should I go get some of my stuff, or could I borrow a change of clothes and stuff from you? he asked.

Even smiled. – Of course you can borrow stuff from me, Isak. But you should do whatever you're comfortable with. 

– I wanna walk with you, Isak said then. He didn’t have the patience to drop by his place. He didn’t want to hear the questions from the others in Kollektivet, either.

Even seemed pleased by his answer, and he gave Isak another hug before they started to tidy up in the coffee shop. 

They left KB together.  It was cold and beautiful outside, and it took them awhile to walk. Their walk was oddly intimate, as they both talked, but also felt no need to fill the stillness with talk.

– You know, Even said, as they approached his house. – It's a year ago today. December the second.

Isak frowned – What is? he asked, and thought for a moment. Then he remembered.  _ Fuck _ . 

– Oh, he said. – Yeah. 

He stopped, and tried to make eye contact with Even. Even was staring at his shoes, but finally met his gaze. 

– Are you okay? Isak asked. – I know that anniversaries like this can be difficult sometimes.

Even shrugged. – It's alright. It's not like I remember that much about it, anyway. 

He looked at Isak. – You do, though, don't you?

Oh yes. Isak remembered.  He remembered how he was still fighting his crush on his new friend, and how his heart skipped over several beats when Even met him at school that day, asking him if they could meet at KB for a coffee. Of course, Isak had known that they were only friends, but he still felt nervous. 

They did meet, though. Even had been electric, energetic, he was talking about how he had broken up with Sonja because he needed to be free, and he talked about his big plans, projects and dreams, and Isak didn't know how to handle him. When Even told Isak that he was the man of his dreams and kissed him, Isak had almost combusted, at the same time as he felt that something was wrong. Even wasn't quite  _ there _ . Even was talking and talking and talking and finally, Isak had understood that something was off. 

Isak had borrowed Even's phone and found his mom's number, and in just a moment, she was there, taking Even with her. 

Back in the coffee shop, Isak was left scared, worried and heartbroken. He knew in his heart that even if Even had kissed him, they were just friends, and Even probably just did it because of his strange episode. 

Isak had tried to visit him some days later, but Even had told him to stay away. So Isak did. He was hurt when he heard that Even accepted visits from Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi a couple of days later, but he buried his feelings and pretended that it didn't matter. 

Not long before Christmas, Even had been back at school, looking pale, but better. He told the boys about his illness, he said to Isak that he was sorry, and they never talked more about it again. 

– Yeah, I remember, Isak nodded. He looked at Even. – Do you know what happened that day? Do you want to know?

Even was suddenly pink in his cheeks.  – I wasn’t totally gone, Isak. I remember the kiss. And talking your ears off. I'm sorry. 

– You don't have to be, Isak answered. Then he grinned. – After all, I’ve learned to appreciate your kisses. 

Even snorted a laugh, but then he looked Isak in the eyes. – I mean it. I am sorry about it all. You got tangled into some shit back then. I'm sorry that I dragged you into it all and kissed you, and I'm sorry that I pushed you away afterwards. 

It was Isak's time to blush, because the thought of Even avoiding him still bugged him. – It's alright, he muttered. – I just… didn't understand why you could talk to the others, and not me. 

Even almost looked sick. – Yeah, I'm really sorry, Isak. 

Isak swallowed thickly. – Did I do something, or say something stupid? That happens sometimes.

– No, Isak, not at all, don’t ever think that!

Even shut his eyes for a moment. – I think maybe I was embarrassed. And you know I had these hangups, right? You were  _ everything  _ to me right then, I was obsessed. 

He opened his eyes again and met Isak’s. Isak swallowed. It was painful to hear that he just had been some sort of obsession for Even, but at least he had been  _ that _ . 

Even continued: – I kind of was certain that I was going to do something stupid. That I would be bad for you. I was in a dark place right then. Depressed. So I said to myself that I had to stay away. That you were better off without me. 

_ Fuck _ , well that was bullshit _. _

Isak frowned. – Well, that's bullshit, Even. I hope that was the last time you thought stuff like that. It's not for you to assume what might be bad for me, and then make decisions for me. Okay?

Even nodded, and it looked like Isak's words hit him hard. – Okay.

They started to walk again, and there was a new vibe between them, a new closeness, maybe. Isak felt honoured that Even had opened up to him. They approached Even's place, and Even took his hand as they went inside.

– Hands? Really? Isak asked, as Even opened the door. 

Even smiled and raised his eyebrows at him. – Yeah, sure. It's fine by the rules, right? 

– Sure, sure, Isak nodded. He smiled a little. – Something tells me that you aim to win this bet, being romantic as fuck. 

Even grinned then. – Maybe. Chill, Isak, it's just holding hands. I hold hands with my buddies all the time. 

Isak knew he was right, of course. During the spring, some meddling from their common friend Sana had led to Even contacting his old friends from Bakka again. Isak and the guys had known for a long time that Even had lost contact with them when he transferred to Nissen, but they had never known what it was all about. Isak didn't want to push him to talk about it. But when Even turned up with Elias, Yousef, Adam, Mikael and Mutasim, Isak couldn't help feeling jealous about the closeness between them all. And Even looked so relaxed and laid back when he was with them, it was almost painful to watch.

– Yeah, okay, Isak said. He had to release Even's hand as he took his jacket off and slipped his shoes off. 

Even shouted to see if anyone was home, and Isak suddenly remembered in a flash how he had done the same the first time Isak followed him home. That evening Even had made him fall in love and broken his heart at the same time, and without knowing it. 

– We're really alone, Even smiled, and took Isak's hand again. – I knew that. I just wanted to check it, one more time. 

– What, don't you want me to meet your parents? Isak laughed, to hide the heat in his cheeks. – That's not romantic at all. You must step up your game, Even.

Even rolled his eyes and dragged him towards his room. – You've met my parents several times, Isak. I just want some time with you alone.

He dropped his bag by his bed, and looked at Isak. – Are you hungry? Thirsty?

Isak shook his head. – No, not really.

He was too nervous, really. And he felt a little worn out and sweaty from a long day at school and a busy shift at work. At the same time, the lust for Even simmered under his skin and made him restless. Isak shifted his feet as he watched Even moving around in the room. Even was busy looking for something, so Isak gazed freely. His tight jeans looked really good on him, and there was something catlike over his movements, something that made Isak tingle inside. There was just something about Even, a slight confidence and sensuality that had Isak muddling his words and blushing uncontrollably whenever he was around. Even looked back and smiled. Although the room was shadowy, he looked like sunshine. Fuck. Isak wanted Even so badly, and he secretly wondered what they would do today. He wondered how they would get each other off. He wondered if Even was going to come inside of him, or if Isak could come inside of Even. 

–  You know, I usually take a shower after a work, Even said, his back to Isak.  –  You're welcome to join me, he added as he turned. His blue eyes shone.

Oh. The offer took Isak by surprise. It sounded amazing, especially since he felt so sweaty and gross, but he hadn't thought about that option at all. The thought of being in the shower, naked, with Even, was breathtaking.

–  What do you think? Even asked.

Isak wasn't thinking anymore. He was acting on instinct. He crossed the gap between him and Even in a heartbeat and before the significance of what he was doing could really sink in, he kissed his long time friend. Fucking friend. Fuckbuddy.

The feel of Even's lips against his own brought on a sense of euphoria, coupled with a rising lust. He felt an electric spark when Even's tongue pressed against his lips and he opened to receive it. If this was going to be his first time doing more than hooking up and blowjobs, he couldn't have imagined a better partner than Even.

–  I take it that's a yes, Even grinned.

It didn't take them long to get undressed. It would be a tight fit in the small shower, but neither of them seemed to mind. In fact, Isak enjoyed that it was so cramped, and Even seemed to get the giggles about it all.

Isak smiled into Even’s giggling kisses, wondering why Even’s smiley eyes made his chest ache. He wondered if it was because he wanted Even so badly.

Isak let his hands grab at Even, slightly overwhelmed by all the exposed skin. Experience showed as Even's hands explored every part of Isak's body. He stroked Isak’s skin, marking each touch with a gentle kiss.  _ Fuck _ , it felt so good. Isak couldn't hold back the shivers.

What Isak lacked in practice he made up for in enthusiasm as he duplicated Even's motions, and it was Even’s time to shiver.

A thin layer of soap soon covered each of them, which, coupled with the steady flow of hot water, washed away the grime of the day. Isak let out a sigh.  _ So good. _ The firm touch of his friend's hands felt amazing as his powerful fingers massaged Isak’s neck and shoulders. He felt Even playfully slide his hands down the length of Isak's back and onto his backside. A moan escaped Isak's lips as he felt Even's hands slide up under his balls and close around his already hard cock. 

–  Relax and... just enjoy it, Even whispered into his ear as he playfully jerked Isak's cock up and down. His warm voice alone was enough to make Isak shiver, and his hand made it difficult to stand on his legs.

So, enjoy it Isak did as he closed his eyes and leaned back against Even. The sensation of the flowing hot water and Even’s chest behind him and his strokes on his dick made Isak tremble and moan. A broad smile came to his lips as he felt the hardness of Even's cock pressed up against the cheeks of his ass.

Isak knew that if Even kept this up much longer, he'd shoot his load all over the shower wall. He didn't want this new experience to end so soon. He reluctantly pulled Even's hand away from his cock. Turning around, with Even's arms still around him, he kissed Even once more.  _ So soft… _ He couldn't believe how Even’s lips and tongue still made him tremble.

Then he began to work his way downward, his kisses tracing Even's smooth, well-defined chest as he bent lower and lower.

When he reached his goal his face was only inches from Even’s erect dick. The warm water poured over him, but he didn’t mind. He reached out and stroked the underside of Even's balls, working his fingers up to the base of his cock. Almost reverently, he extended two fingers and ran them up and down the full length of Even's cock. He leaned forward and replaced the touch of his fingers with that of his lips as he kissed his way up and down the shaft.

Isak closed his eyes as he opened his mouth and took in Even's hardness. He wanted to enjoy every nuance of the sensations he was feeling. Isak could feel his heart racing as the hot flesh slid in and out of his mouth. The salty taste of Even's precum on his tongue added a further excitement.

Now it was Even's turn to lean back against the cool shower walls and close his eyes. It wasn't long before he started to tug at Isak.  –  I think... I'm gonna come... he said as he closed his eyes even tighter.

That was music to Isak's ears. He did this! He made Even squirm and moan! Isak doubled his efforts. He clamped his fingers around the base of Even's cock, preventing him from ejaculating for a moment. Every lick of his tongue, every time he put Even’s dick into his mouth, probably caused Even to feel like he was going to explode. It was exciting to think about. But that feeling paled next to the lust that filled Isak at the moment.

Isak's own cock was rock hard between his legs. He let one hand drop down so that he could play with it. He let it slide between his fingers in a gentle motion, giving it just enough attention to bring him some relief from its hardness, but not enough to distract him from the task at hand.

Deciding that he had held Even back as long as he could, Isak released his hold on his ball sack and felt the rush of hot cum erupt  –  a second before it began to shoot into his mouth and throat. Even groaned and shook over him. Isak sucked on Even's cock one more time, catching every spurt of salty cum. He savored both the taste and the knowledge that he was doing this for Even. 

The desperate lust made him grip his own dick harder, he looked up at Even standing over him in the water, and Even’s lost expression was like a punch in his gut. Before he knew it, he was coming all over his hand while Even was softening between his fingers. 

Even reached down and lifted Isak up from the floor of the shower.  –  Oh God, that was amazing! Even breathed.  They stood together, leaning on each other, and panting. –  Fuck… It's a fucking crime that we didn’t do this a long time ago.

Isak laughed as he rested his head against his fuckbuddy's chest.  – You won't hear me argue. 

What would the last year have been like if they'd found a way to try something like this earlier? Isak wondered. He supposed it was a waste of time regretting what the past might have been like. It was better to see what they could make of this thing happening here and now.

Stepping out of the shower, they quickly dried each other off. Neither really said anything, but it was all either of them could do to keep from giggling. 

Even found clothes that Isak could borrow, and they both got dressed in comfy sweatpants t-shirts and hoodies. They were perfectly dressed for a relaxing evening.

– Are you hungry? Even asked.

– Yeah, I’m starving, Isak admitted. Now that he had let go of some of the pent-up tension, his body was growling for food.

– Let’s make something to eat then, Even grinned. 

As they walked into the kitchen, he put on some music.  – If you like, you can chill while I make us some food.

– No, I can help, Isak protested. – I’m so hungry right now, that I need to make sure that you keep your tempo up.

Even laughed. – Is that so? 

He looked into the fridge. – Seems like cheese toasties is the only interesting option, he sighed. 

Isak smiled, thinking back at that time one year ago when they were in Even’s kitchen, just like they are now, making grilled cheese toasties that ended up tasting like shit. – We should ease up on the spices this time, I guess, he said. 

Even looked at him with fond amusement in his eyes. – You remember?

– Of course I fucking remember. I wasn’t  _ that  _ high, you know. 

Even smiled then, although the smile looked a little sad. – So. Easy on the spices. But cardamom is a must, right? 

His eyes shone as he met Isak’s gaze. 

– Definitely, Isak laughed, trying to hide the sting he felt from the memory. He had been so infatuated and hopeful that afternoon, he had wanted to kiss Even so badly, and all his wishes had been crushed the moment Even’s girlfriend Sonja turned up. 

It was more than a year ago, and he could still feel the disappointment.

Well, at least now he was closer to Even than he had ever been before. He had maybe lost his hope for a relationship with Even a long time ago, but at least they were fucking. Having fun. It could be worse. 

He helped Even with the bread and the cheese, trying to ignore the feeling that he was way too deep into this thing with Even already. That he basically was just as infatuated as he was a year ago. But he couldn’t admit that. 

The two of them worked well together preparing the food. Even seemed a little silent for a moment, and the teasing from earlier was gone, but it was fine. Everything was fine. 

As Even reached past Isak to find some spices, he halted and looked at Isak. For a moment, he was so close that Isak could see the details of his eyelashes. 

– I need to do something, Even said, holding him with his gaze. 

Isak stared at him. – Yeah? What?

_ Kiss me _ , Isak wanted to say.  _ Kiss me, just like you should have kissed me right in this kitchen a year ago. _ He recalled how electric his attraction was back then, and was stunned when he realized that he felt the same attraction again. It was like the year that had passed suddenly had melted away.

Even’s eyes shone, and he let his hand reach Isak’s neck. – I need to kiss you, Isak. Can I kiss you?

Isak swallowed. – Why?

Even didn’t say anything at first. Then: – Can I?

Isak would love to claim that he had a choice, but the truth was that he never would be able to say no to a question like that from Even. – Uh… okay? he said, quickly.

Even leant closer, as his fingers tangled into Isak’s curls in the back, and let his lips meet Isak’s. The kiss was gentle and soft, and it made Isak tremble. 

Even leant back again. 

– Uh… what… what was that for? Isak asked. 

Even let out a slow breath. – One day I’ll tell you, I promise, he said. – Okay? 

– Okay. 

The cheese toasties were finished in no time, and they decided to bring them to Even’s bedroom. When they ended up sitting on the floor, just like they did last time, Isak didn’t know where to look or what to say. It was too much. But then Even jumped up and put on some music, and lit some candles.

– We should make it a little cozy, he said. 

Isak stared suspiciously at him. – Wait… he said. – I know why you’re doing this! You’re really taking this bet seriously, aren’t you? Holding hands, kissing and making everything romantic as fuck, so that the risk is higher that we’ll fall for each other? 

Even raised his eyebrows. – Well, does it work? 

Isak only snorted. – I need more than candles to fall in love, Even. 

– Right, right, Even smiled, looking a little embarrassed. – I just want everything to be special. I mean, you haven’t been with anyone else, and I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, used. 

Isak cocked his head. – Are you saying that it didn’t feel special in the storage room at KB? Or in the shower? 

Even blushed – Oh. It definitely felt special. But if we do more tonight, and uh… you come inside me or something, for the first time, that’s intimate, and…

– Even, Isak interrupted him. – Seriously. My first time was at KB, and it was perfect. What are you on about? Penetration isn’t everything, you know?

Even swallowed. – Yeah I know that, I really do. I just… I guess I feel bad about how quickly everything happened at KB, and… I want you to have good memories about your first time. First  _ times _ , I mean. I know we have this bet, but that doesn’t have to mean that we can’t make it special.   

Isak could only stare at him. He knew that Even was romantic as fuck, and that his goal for this bet was to show that they could fall in love, but this… this was about something else. 

– Tell me, Even. Was your first time romantic?

Even stared at him. – Uh. Not really? I was mostly scared shitless, to be honest. Horny and scared, that sums up most of it. 

– Well, don’t try to fix everything with me, then. I love that you made it cozy, and it’s fine that you want to take care of me and shit but please… just chill. 

Even smiled then, and nodded. – Okay. I can do that. So no candles?

Isak sighed. – Candles are fine, for fuck’s sake! I love that you make this so sweet, you know. Just don’t… stress. Let’s just finish eating and maybe watch a movie or something? 

Even’s smile grows wider. – Okay. So…  _ Romeo + Juliet _ ? 

– God, you’re killing me, Isak sighed, but with a small smile. He loved that movie, but how he was supposed to survive watching it together with Even without falling apart, he didn’t know. 

– No, yeah, you’re right, Even said, – we could watch something a little different. Hm, I would like to see The Grand Budapest Hotel one more time, wanna see that?  

Isak had never heard about it. – Sure. 

So Even pulled down his mattress from his bunk bed, so that they could watch the TV from the floor. 

The movie was kind of weird. Isak hadn’t expected anything less. But he was soon enthralled and lost in the story anyway. Even and he lay side by side on the mattress watching the movie, and Isak was partly leaned against Even’s shoulder. He had seldom felt so safe, relaxed and engulfed in a movie. 

When the movie  ended, he felt like he had just stepped out of a door to another world and was back into the real world. He told Even.  – It feels weird, he said.

– Yeah, Even laughed, and held him close. – Isn’t it a great feeling? I love movies that make me feel like that. 

Isak nodded.  – Okay, I can see why. 

He hesitated, as he thought about the movie one more time. – It was pretty dark, though, he said. 

Even looked surprised. – Yeah, the first time I watched it, I got caught up in all the weird things, and I mostly… enjoyed it. This time… I noticed all the darkness. You’re perceptive, Isak. 

Isak grinned. – Of course I am. My eyes are on the details, baby.

Even smiled back. – Well, that’s good. I’m more of the type who loses the details sometimes, as I see the entirety. Anyway, I could talk about this movie for hours, but I won’t. Did you like it?

Isak nodded. – Not what I normally would choose, but I did.

Even smiled, like he was proud.  – Cool.

His smile was soft, and his lips looked even softer. Isak wanted to kiss him, but he knew that he shouldn’t.

Even stretched and looked at Isak.  – I would love to kiss you right now, but I guess you would just accuse me of not playing fair. 

– You have to stop guessing so much, Isak grinned. 

– Fine. I will, Even said, leaned closer and kissed him softly. 

_ Mm. Sweet lips, soft lips. _ Isak didn’t mind that at all. He knew that he was risking things when he let Even kiss him, and he risked a lot more when he chose to stay the night. Even’s kisses just made him forget about that. Isak knew it was risky, but he felt like he was meant to be here, in Even’s arms. There was no way that he could deny Even his kisses. He couldn’t help putting his hands under Even’s shirt. He couldn’t help touching. Stroking. Pulling Even closer.

Isak knew he should take it easy. Somewhere in his head his brain told him to slow the hell down. He just couldn’t. All he knew was to hold on to Even and not let him go. Not now, at least. He was allowed to have this, now. So he was going to enjoy it,  _ dammit _ . He needed to have this.  _ Please. _

Right now, Even seemed to be just as determined to have this. – Stay, he asked, and Isak nodded into his kiss. Held Even close.

– I already said that I would, Even. 

Even smiled then. His eyes were dark because they were so dilated. – I want you to fuck me, he whispered. 

Isak swallowed.  _ Oh. _ It suddenly hit him that he was about to try something that he had never done before. Well, yeah, sex was just a release of hormones and cum, and where his dick was shouldn’t matter, but it still made him nervous. One more thing that was new to him. A nervous laugh bubbled from his lips as he wondered exactly what Even was expecting of him. 

Even noticed immediately, of course. He was always so intuitive and attentive to Isak and his feelings. Even placed his hands on either side of Isak’s neck, thumbs tilting his chin up.

– Hey, Even said, his soft voice already easing some of the tension building inside Isak. – No stress, yeah? We only do this if you want to. We can chill instead, if you like. 

Isak nodded, but had to protest a little. – This is  _ supposed  _ to be about fucking, Even. We have this fucking bet, after all. And a sleepover. And a sleepover means fucking.

– Well, it doesn’t have to mean that we  _ have to  _ fuck all night, just because we’re having a sleepover. We don’t  _ have to _ do anything.

Isak laughed, but it was more an exhale than anything else. His lips found Even’s again. They kissed and Even opened up and let his tongue sweep over Isak’s bottom lip. There was a soft moan that slipped from Isak’s lips and it was just embarrassingly hard not to moan again. Kissing Even felt so good. Isak pressed his forehead to Even’s, allowing that to calm him. 

– I want this, he whispered, as he let his hands come up to twine in Even’s hair.

Even pulled at him and somehow Isak was being manhandled onto his back, while Even was straddled over him and pressed him to the mattress. There were hands around Isak’s waist, tugging at his t-shirt until there was skin against palm, and Isak was breathing heavily into Even’s neck and Even’s lips were doing things to Isak’s skin. He was sucking at him. Licking.

_ Fuck _ . Isak  wanted this, and he wanted it  _ now _ . 

Even must have seen the need in Isak’s eyes, because he leaned closer, kissed him again, and started to pull off Isak’s pants. Then Isak sat up to tear off Even’s shirt. Soon they were both sitting there on the mattress in their boxers.

Even looked amazing. Isak wanted what tented Even’s boxers in his mouth. As he started to move down, Even caught his arms and kept him sitting in front of him. 

–  My God, you're beautiful, Isak. 

The way Even said Isak’s name was like a prayer, warm and reverent.

– Well, y ou aren't anything but gorgeous, Even, Isak answered. 

And he meant every word. He slipped his hands into the waistband of Even’s underwear and tugged until it passed his rounded, muscular ass and slipped off his leaking, aroused cock and then off. Even quickly returned the favor before pressing against Isak, letting Isak feel every inch of him naked, hard, and aroused against him. They lay down and pressed against each other, kissing and touching all over until Isak lost his breath. 

Isak pushed Even over on his back and sat up and straddled over him. Isak was on top of Even, breathing hard through their kisses to get enough air. Isak was feeling Even’s rock hard length press into his butt as his own cock rose between them. Isak broke from their kiss to taste Even’s jaw and lick at his neck.  –  You taste so good.

Even's hand fisted in Isak’s hair as his voice became deeper and he groaned.  –  Christ! That feels good when you bite my neck.

_ Good? Great!  _ Isak bit down into the flesh of Even’s neck under his ear. Even moaned even deeper, pulling on his hair, causing Isak to groan against his neck. Isak shut his eyes for a moment, trying to clear his mind, so he wouldn't end up doing nothing but humping against Even, causing it to be over with before they started. 

– Let me, uh… open you up, Isak said, as he felt that he was blushing from head to toe.

Even only groaned as an answer.

Isak kissed down Even's throat, trailing his lips and tongue over his collarbone, down his sternum, along his nipple. Isak slowly moved down his body, nipping his skin with his lips, watching Even's skin break out in goosebumps. By the time Isak reached Even’s groin and bypassed it for his hips, Even was a pile of willing, obedient jelly that Isak turned over onto his stomach. Even’s ass was right there in front of him, hot and tempting. Isak fought back his jittering nerves and let his playfulness take over. He caressed, massaged, and molded Even with his hands. He hesitated only a moment before he separated his cheeks and lowered his face, taking in the sweaty musk before his lips found Even’s hole, warm and inviting.  _ Oh fuck, this was kinda hot. _

The first swipe of his tongue had Even groaning so loudly; Isak thought he'd come. Each dip, each taste, each flick, had Even moaning and whining until his body began to open. Even had placed condoms and lube next to the mattress earlier, and Isak grabbed both and doused his fingers in lube, replacing his mouth with his hand, kissing Even’s ass cheek as his fingers, one at a time dove into Even. Isak stilled for a moment as he felt the hot and tight sensation of Even around his fingers.  _ Damn _ . It felt tight. Even groaned and whimpered as Isak’s slick fingers slid in and out of him. 

– Oh God, that feels so good… Even moaned helplessly as two fingers pushed in and out of him. Isak loved how he could make Even so gone like this. Even bucked against Isak’s fingers, almost like he fucked himself on them. 

Even gasped, and Isak realized that he must have hit Even’s prostate. So he hit it again, and again. Even was sweating and gasping his breaths. – Please… he mumbled and moaned, grabbing the sheets. – I’m ready.

Isak couldn’t help smiling a little. Eating out and fingering Even had made him brave. – Okay, baby, it's okay… I got you...

Isak had to withdraw as he tore open the condom with his teeth, and used his hands to roll it down his aching dick. When they were both ready and dripping with lubricated help, he moved up, flipping Even over. Isak had to see Even’s face. However, Even rolled them around again, so that he straddled Isak.  – I want to ride you, he mumbled. – I think that makes it easier, too. Okay?

Isak stared at him in awe. Even looked amazing over him, with shining eyes, flushed cheeks and wild hair. The sight of him made Isak shake even more. His dick was so ready it almost hurt.  Being on his back, looking at his face, Isak would be forced to go at Even’s pace. He would be able to watch Even move, too. It dawned on Isak that he really, really liked the idea. 

– Okay, he whispered. 

Even smiled, and slowly leant down and laid his mouth over his again. Isak expected fire and passion, and was surprised over the tenderness in Even’s kiss. Even’s lips were soft and wet and made Isak tingle all over. Made him feel things he hadn’t expected at all. Isak opened his lips hungrily and invited him in, so they kissed even deeper. Even’s silent moans vibrated inside of him.

Even leaned back.  When Isak looked into Even's deep blue eyes  again, he saw something almost like fear. He stroked Even’s chin and held him lightly.   –  What's wrong?

Even's arms came around him and hugged him closer. He leant his forehead on Isak’s.  –  New territory. I'm just nervous.

–  I won't hurt you.

–  I know.

He said it with such surety that he made Isak shiver.  _ Damn.  _ His heart beat really hard at that statement, then slowed and mellowed with some deep emotion he couldn't, wouldn't name. 

Even looked into his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he separated his cheeks with one hand, searched for Isak’s dick with the other, and let himself carefully sink on top of Isak, leaning his head back as Isak pushed through.

_ Oh, fuck, that was good _ . Even felt like a tight and warm glove around him.

– Oh, fuck, Isak, yes… Even moaned, pushing down slowly, – this feels so… good.

Isak couldn't stop himself. He pressed up against Even and felt him give way. As Even's body opened to him, as Isak watched his face, as he traveled the emotional journey from fear of the unknown to curiosity and wonder at something new, Isak felt his heart give way again.  _ Damn it _ , Isak didn't want to feel this, but it was too late. He had a sinking feeling he was falling for Even Bech Næsheim. 

He was falling, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He just shivered, held on and looked. Even looked back at him with something dark in his eyes, something like awe mixed with possession. The sight of Even over him, the aching feeling in his chest and the amazing tight feeling around his cock made Isak give a strangled sound. 

Even pushed his way down over him and stayed in place, so easy now, now that Isak was fully inside him. Isak lay still until he felt the soft, gentle fluttering of Even’s body's adjustment stop. Then Even pulled up and began a slow, gentle rocking that made both of them gasp and whimper in a moment of breathless delight.  Isak allowed himself to fully enjoy the sensations and forget everything else. Even was all that mattered. 

Even moved lazily, like he never wanted to stop. Isak didn’t want it to stop, either. Even`s hands were all over him, holding him and stroking him, and making him feel strangely emotional and aroused at the same time. Isak moaned again and again, and met each of Even’s movements. – Fuck, this is so good, he whispered, – you're so good, Even…

Everything was building at an achingly slow pace. It was almost too slow, though. Isak was so close that he was sweating. He felt desperate. He needed Even closer. He needed  _ more _ .  The pleasure built as Even milked his body. Isak watched his face, wanted to see his pleasure.  Even looked like he was just as lost in the sensations; he was breathing heavily with an open mouth, as he held Isak’s gaze.

When Even started to move more quickly over him, leaning back a little and finding his prostate , Isak groaned, and hoped to hang on.  Even was shaking, and looked dazed, like he was close to coming. Isak was so overwhelmed that he didn't know what to do. – Fuck, please… I’m almost there...

Even began to chuckle.  –  Me... too, Iss. You feel so damn... good.

His words started Isak’s own chuckle, that rumbled through his body and caused Even to arch his back, causing Isak to groan again.  –  That's so good, baby. Find your... pleasure.

Isak watched as Even concentrated on how to move, how to bring about his own release. Even found a way to lean back so he hit his spot again and again, groaning every time. He plunged himself in the right angle, as he  stroked his own dick looking into Isak`s eyes. Those eyes… Isak lingered in the feeling of almost coming, while Even got closer and closer to the edge. 

– Even… Isak moaned, holding Even’s gaze. And finally, he couldn't hold back any longer. He thrust his hips up to meet Even, the feeling was almost too much to bear.  He thrust once, twice, three more times into Even before they both exploded, moaning out their pleasure, their need, their release. Even’s shining eyes were locked to his as he spilled cum over his belly. Isak lost himself as something burst in him, something broke, and he shouted out and came, shivering all over. 

Afterwards, when they lay on their backs, panting and smiling, Isak wondered what the hell he had gotten himself into. There was no doubt that he had fallen for Even, and he had fallen deeply. Right now, he didn’t have the energy to worry too much, though.

He lay his head against Even's chest, listening to his heartbeat slow down. When they had both begun to breathe nearly normally, he propped himself on his elbows to look down into Even's eyes. He had a sleepy, lazy, satisfied grin on his face. Isak lowered his head to take his lips when he felt him against his belly, rock hard again.  –  God damn! You're gonna kill me, Even.

Even threw his head back and laughed.  – I could fuck you all night, Isak. Doesn’t have to mean that we should.

Isak rolled his eyes, but started chuckling too. He didn’t mind doing it again. After all, he was in this bet to get what he could with Even, for as long as he could. He could handle fucking all night, but just with this man.

They finally drifted off to sleep around three or four in the morning. They'd used three condoms. 

Later that morning Isak woke lying sprawled across Even's chest. He could feel Even slowly waking up.  Even tangled his fingers in Isak’s hair and stroked his open mouth against his neck. Isak sighed, and lost himself in the feelings. Then he felt Even’s length press against his hip. Again, Isak’s body was heavy with lust. But he was sore, too.

– You’re really going to kill me, Even, he muttered. – Aren’t you sore?

Even chuckled.  – Yeah. I just can’t get enough of you, it seems. 

He sighed, and moved to get up. – But let’s be a little reasonable for once, he said. – I can get into the shower, and then we can make some breakfast.

Isak held him back. – No, he said, and moved down on him. He smiled a little. – I want you for breakfast. 

Even didn’t protest much at that. 

So they blew each other on the mattress in Even’s room and took far too much time in the shower, before they finally ended up in the kitchen. It was about time for lunch when they ate their breakfast, sitting closely at the kitchen table. 

Isak didn’t want to go home. It should be alarming, but right now, he didn’t care. 

Then the front door slammed, and Isak almost jumped in the air. 

– It’s just my parents, Even smiled. – You can still stay. 

Isak knew that he couldn’t. So he said his hellos to Even’s parents, trying not to bother about the fact that they noticed that he was dressed in Even’s clothes and probably looked like he was fucked out. He kissed Even goodbye and left.  

As Isak walked home, he wondered how in hell he was supposed to manage to protect his heart during this bet.  He was starting to realize that he was struggling with his feelings. He wanted so much more than this. 

He went straight to his room and sat down on his bed. His thoughts bounced around inside of him and he had a tingling feeling in his belly. He stared at the books about love that lay spread on the floor next to the bed. It was almost like the books mocked him. He knew that he kind of had lost the bet, even before it started. And he knew that the end of the bet would break him. Still, he knew that he couldn’t go back now. He just couldn’t.


	4. Isak’s Place (philia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to be a good friend, but it's difficult to just be friendly with a smiling and touchy feely Even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, now when I go through the chapter before posting it I realize that this fic is just... silly... But yeah, I hope you enjoy it! Please leave a comment if you do! <3

The next weeks Isak and Even saw each other almost every day, both at Kaffebrenneriet and meeting to watch a movie or just hang around. However, they hadn’t tried to meet up to  _ fuck  _ in a while. Isak told himself that he was avoiding sex because he needed time and space, but the fact was that he wanted this arrangement to last as long as possible. They only had three sleepovers left, and he wanted to savour them and make the most of them. Plus, he loved the new connection he had with Even. They were lovers, but also friends. 

What motives Even had, he didn’t know. Even seemed just as easy going as always. But he didn’t take any initiative to fuck either.

Instead of fucking, they were working together, hanging out, chatting, playing games and watching movies. They cuddled a lot, too. They saw each other all the time, and Isak couldn’t help notice how hot Even was, and how sweet. How he had the most striking blue eyes and soft hair, how his smile and laughter made everything brighter. Even was always so attentive and understanding, and he always saw creative solutions to everything. Sometimes he was a dork with questionable humour, and sometimes he would dance to awful music, but he also was too smart and could see parallels and symbols in music and movies where Isak saw none.  

And God, Isak was so lost for Even. 

They were supposed to be only friends of course. So Isak tried to be a good friend. Sometimes they ended up in one of their rooms, talking about personal stuff. Even told Isak about how he struggled when he lost touch with his friends from Bakka, and how he felt that he got a new chance when he got to know Jonas, Isak and the others. How Sana had helped him find his way back to his friends. Isak told Even about his mom and about how he almost lost Eva as a friend in first year.

It wasn’t so easy to be just friendly, though. At least not when Even smiled his beautiful smile, or stared at Isak with his piercing eyes, or touched Isak all the time. Even seemed to be oblivious to what he did to Isak, as he trotted about in tight jeans and t-shirts, showing off his long legs. He shared willingly both hugs and random touches, too. Isak knew that Even just was like that, with everyone, and it meant nothing. It still was frustrating.

Even also bent the rules, of course, making everything even more difficult. He seemed to not think about it at all when he kissed Isak all the time. Of course, he didn’t kiss Isak on the mouth, because that was not allowed in the rules, but he kissed Isak everywhere  _ except  _ on his mouth. Literally everywhere.

He kissed and licked at Isak's neck, shoulder, chest, belly, and even his thighs. He would hug, cuddle and grind against him, too. Well, they both did. 

One time, when they were the only ones left at KB, Even undressed Isak and kissed him  _ everywhere _ except on his mouth (and except his dick, because they had decided that fucking was getting off like that). Even was very obviously avoiding his lips. He was pressing lingering kisses against pretty much everything else he could reach. Isak's jaw, his neck, his cheeks—it was all fair game. His breath was curling against the skin just beneath Isak’s ear as his hands were skating against the skin of his stomach, occasionally scraping down his side in long scratches.

Hands curled tightly into Even's mess of hair, Isak breathed hard into the edge of his locks. Isak knew Even would leave marks he didn't want, but he really didn't want to stop the feeling of Even’s teeth against his skin.

That evening, Even kissed and licked Isak everywhere until Isak came in his boxers. 

As long as they didn't touch, it wasn't fucking, they said. During those three weeks they had both come in their pants more than once, as they got off without touching each other. But then it wasn’t fucking.  _ Was it? _

Isak knew they were playing a dangerous game, and he knew it was a lost cause for his sake, but he didn't care, he wanted it too much. After all, he knew he had fallen for Even already, there was no way back. When this bet was over, his heart would break anyway. He would take whatever he got and enjoy this game for as long as it lasted. 

Three weeks went by like that. And three weeks without fucking turned out to be a lot to handle. Isak was slowly becoming frantic because he wanted Even _ all the time _ . He had always managed to keep his feelings pent up, but now it was impossible. He wanted more of Even, and he wanted him closer. Every time they hung out together, he felt like every fiber of his being was vibrating. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins. Whenever he had a silent moment, he swore he could hear Even’s laughter. Whenever he shut his eyes it was Even’s eyes, Even’s skin, Even’s face that he saw. 

Right before Christmas, there was a pregame planned at Kollektivet. Isak knew that Even was invited, and he didn’t know what to do with all the nervous want and waiting in his body beforehand. The anticipation was like a jittery kind of energy, that tingled through him like electrical sparks on the way to the ground, gathering in his toes. He was afraid that he would have one look at Even, and then combust. He couldn't risk that.

In the end, he decided to take matters in his own hands, so to speak. He went to take a long and hot shower, so that he maybe would be relaxed and cool for the party. Well, that was his plan, anyway.

He stood in the shower, stroking his own dick and shamelessly thinking about Even’s lips and hands, when curiosity suddenly struck him. He had fucked into Even three weeks ago, and even though they fucked several times that night, and Even ate him out once, he hadn’t dared to let Even fuck him. Lately, he had become very curious about how it felt. Even had looked like he truly enjoyed it, and he had come harder than Isak had ever seen before. What did it feel like?

Isak blushed as he slowly let his right hand sneak back between his ass cheeks while his left continued to stroke his dick. He searched and found his hole, and yelped when he felt his own finger press against his opening. It was  _ nice _ . In fact, it was  _ very nice _ , and it intensified the pleasure. The surprise made Isak moan and he imagined Even sticking his fingers into him. Fucking him.  _ Damn _ .

He arched his back and stretched his hand and managed to stick his finger further inside. Then he tried two fingers and pushed in.  _ Fuck _ . So this was what the stretching felt like. It didn’t feel bad at all, maybe because he was relaxed and wet. He didn’t care. He was curious, and horny, and he loved the sensations in his opening, and he wanted this. 

Soon Isak was lost in his sensations, rocking back and forth under the shower, fucking into his one hand and taking the thrusts of his other hand at the same time. In seconds, he came, moaning out in pleasure. The orgasm soared through his body, much stronger than when he normally jerked off. He breathed in heavy gulps, slowly returning to himself.  _ Fuck, that was intense.  _ Definitely something worth checking out. 

He felt relieved, and as he got dressed for the party, and helped Eskild tidying the living room, he hoped it was enough to keep his cool during the rest of the evening. 

Of course, he lost that illusion the moment Even turned up, and revealed nice fitting jeans and a tight white sweater under his coat. He was so hot that Isak almost drooled.  _ Friendly _ , Isak said to himself as a mantra. They were supposed to be  _ friendly _ . 

The party was going well and the guests were chatting and laughing. Kollektivet was still this rare place where all their circles of friends could mingle, and Isak liked it. The whole thing was pretty relaxed. Even met his gaze across the room and smiled. Nodded. Before Isak had the time to react, Even was there, right in front of him. – Halla. 

There was that static again, that crackling in the air that happened whenever the two them got within a foot of each other. Even back when they were only friends, it was enough to make the little hairs on the back of Isak’s neck stand up, but now it was enough that he was a little afraid for his life, like, if Even’s hand brushed his, one or both of them would be instantly electrocuted. Not literally, of course, but it felt like it.

–  Hi, Isak stammered.  –  Glad you could make it.

He couldn’t tear his eyes off Even’s lips. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to suck face. He would never have guessed that the most difficult part of these three weeks would be to stay away from Even’s lips.  _ God _ , he missed kissing Even.

– Me too, Even said, and gave Isak a warm hug. Isak took a deep breath, sensing the warm touch and breathing in the scent of Even.  _ So fucking good _ . 

When Even leant back, his eyes shone and his small smile made Isak weak. – Wanna dance?

– Dance? Isak said and looked around. – Nobody else is dancing?

Those damn eyebrows again. – So? We still could?

– No, Isak said, shaking his head, – we couldn’t. Ask me again when others are dancing, too. Or when we’re alone.

Even laughed and gave him a teasing look. – Are you trying to get me alone so you can get into my pants, Isak?

_ Oh fuck. _ Isak stared at him. He would love to get into Even’s pants, thank you very much. Right now, if possible.

Suddenly that shift happened again. The air shivered between them, Even’s eyes got darker, and the hairs on the back of Isak’s neck rose.  Even stepped in, and he didn't exactly keep a comfortable distance. They were nearly pressing against each other and Even was leaning in close as Isak found himself backed against the wall.  – You can if you want to, you know.

Even’s  voice was low and his face was so close.

Isak shut his eyes for a moment, and sighed. He couldn’t stand the thought of one more evening with all this tension, maybe ending up grinding on each other or jerking off in the shower. He needed to be close to Even, to kiss his lips and feel free to do everything, no rules. 

–  Fuck it.

Isak reached forward and pulled Even into the kiss he'd wanted for for three weeks. Even met him full force.  When their lips pressed and moved against each other, Isak’s brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout his entire body. Even’s mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than Isak could have imagined and he opened his mouth with a low moan. He wanted to let Even inside.

Even pulled back, panting a little, and looked at Isak.  – Uhm, that was a kiss on the mouth.

His hands trembled and his eyes were wide.

– Yeah, Isak said, nodding. He had just realized that this meant two things: that he had kissed Even in public for the first time, and that he hopefully would get to fuck tonight. – Let’s… go to my room. 

Even swallowed. – You sure?

Isak met him with a silent stare. Then: – It’s been three weeks, Even. It’s enough.

Even released a sound between a sigh and a laugh. – God, I know. I just thought you needed time, so… I waited.

Isak snorted. He didn’t have time for more chit chat, so he took Even by the hand and dragged him along. – Come on. 

– What about the party?

– Let the others party, I don’t care. 

He dragged Even into his room and locked the door behind them. 

As they entered the room Isak’s palms were sweating and he was hard as a rock. He wanted to pull Even close, but Even was looking at something by his bed. – Have you been studying? he said, with an amused tone in his voice. 

_ Shit. The books. _ Even had been in his room before, but Isak had always tidied away the books about love before he entered. He had forgot. Shit, Even would probably think he was kind of a freak for obsessing about it like this.

– I just thought it was interesting to know more about it since we have this bet, he said, and hurried to pick up the books and put them away. – Scientifically, of course. 

– Of course, Even said, and there was quite a lot of something like fondness in his eyes. – I love to read up on stuff when I make movies. Have you learned something new? More than the love juice you talked about?

Isak chuckled a little, feeling better now that the books were gone and Even wasn’t looking at him like he was a freak at all. –  A lot, actually. But let’s not talk about that right now. Come here.

Even smiled and came closer. – Okay. 

Isak cupped Even’s face with his hands and stared into his eyes. – You haven’t made these three weeks easy, you know, he admitted. 

– What?

– Well, you know, touching me all the time and kissing me everywhere and stuff. You haven’t made it easy. 

Even grinned. – You set the rules, Isak. 

He leaned closer and Isak knew he was in for a good time. Just Even’s closeness sent shocks down his spine.  –  Do you still wanna play the game?

Isak studied his eyes for a few moments before he reached out for Even.  –  Yes.

It was that simple. Isak had wanted and waited for Even for far too long now. He would play this game for as long as he could. 

Even kissed Isak again. This was a chance Isak couldn't pass up. He pulled back and looked at Even.  – Can you fuck me?

Even stared at him. – Do you want me to?

Isak grinned.  – Yeah. I have thought about it. It seemed like you liked it. 

– Hell, yeah, Even laughed. –  Who doesn't? But yeah, I can do that. 

Isak tried to hide his blush. – Cool, he said. 

Even watched him. – So… How curious have you been? he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. – Have you tried to put something up there?

Now Isak blushed for real. – Fuck off.

– You  _ have…  _ Even laughed. – Naughty...

Isak couldn't lie. – Well, uh, I kinda snuck a finger or two in earlier. 

Even’s smile and dark eyes made Isak shiver. – You did, huh? Gosh, I can just imagine…

He pulled Isak closer and kissed him deeply. Isak shivered. Even’s lips were so sweet and hot at the same time, and the wave that ran through Isak was intoxicating, making his head swim. Even’s tongue delved inside Isak’s mouth, and it was a very sloppy and breathy kiss. 

– God, I have missed kissing you, Even slurred, and his words made Isak tremble, because fuck, yes, he had missed kissing Even, too. Isak’s arms reached up and tangled around Even’s long neck. 

– Fuck, yeah, Isak breathed. – Only in a friendly, fuckbuddy kind of way, of course.

– Of course, Even mouthed against his neck.

Isak arched into Even’s chest, moaning with the contact of body heat against his own. His usual mode of hurrying from one thing to the next was suspended, he had no wish for the kiss to end. Drunk on endorphins, his only desire was to touch Even, to move his hands under his sweater and feel his perfect skin. Isak savoured Even’s lips and the quickening of Even’s breath that matched his own.

He forgot everything, even his nerves, in this kiss. There was no doubt that he  was nervous, though. He wanted it to be good, wanted it to be so good that Even never wanted anyone else again. Isak knew it was a stupid thought, but he wanted to ruin him for everyone else. The way Even had ruined him. 

He drew back for a moment and looked at Even. The swirls of emotion he saw there made him gasp. Lust and desire. Fondness, too? However, before Isak could ponder about it further, Even yanked him closer again and covered Isak’s mouth with his in another hungry kiss. Even’s mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than Isak could have imagined and he let out a low moan.

Spurred by the heat in their kiss and the look in Even’s eyes, Isak fought to get Even’s sweater and pants off. Isak’s shirt came off, too, but then he was too busy too continue to take off the rest. He pushed Even down on his back on the bed. The two of them tumbled down on the mattress in a tangle of limbs and kisses. 

Even was naked under Isak, and all the milky skin made Isak stare in awe. He took in the sight of Even’s beautiful dick and then dove onto it.  He took in about two inches initially, which made Even moan and drop his head back. Isak then took the whole dick in his mouth. He added plenty of spit, and made everything wet and sloppy.

–  Ah! Fuck, Isak. You're getting good at this, Even groaned. Isak smiled around his dick. It was satisfying to know that Even was gripping the sheets in pleasure because of him. 

He tightened his lips on his way up. This caused a long moan to emerge from Even. Isak came all the way up to the ridge of his head before diving back down. He repeated the motion again only faster this time. Hm, he probably  _ was  _ getting good at this. It didn't take long to pick up a rhythm and start to twist his head while he bobbed up and down. With his free hands, he held Even’s hips. Then he played gently with his balls. Continuous moans kept coming from Even. 

After a few minutes of blowing him, Isak let Even’s dick pop out. He then licked him from the base of his dick to the head. Then it was his balls' turn. Isak went down lower and gently flicked one with his tongue. Then the other. He took one into his mouth and sucked lightly. Then he let it fall out only to be replaced by the other. He pulled just enough to give Even some more pleasure. Isak was having a lot of fun, and Even moaned.

Isak lifted his head and wondered if he should continue to suck Even’s dick or move on to something else. 

– Uhm… Let’s prep you, baby, Even murmured, and rolled him onto his back.  _ Oh. Oh yeah _ , that was a brilliant idea. Isak had been so focused on pleasuring Even, but now all he could feel was want, and all he could see was how beautiful Even was over him. His hair was in a mess and his lips were... obscene. Even kissed and licked at Isak’s chest and abs , then he went for his dick. His wet mouth felt so good, Isak had to moan.

When Even leaned back and slicked up his fingers with lube, Isak could only stare in lust and anticipation. He was rock hard already. Even spread Isak’s legs wide. Then he kissed Isak as his first finger massaged Isak’s entrance. Even let his finger slide into Isak’s hole and it felt so good that Isak had to tear his mouth away from Even’s and helplessly groan out loud.  – Good, he mouthed. – Ah yes, so good, more, yes…

Isak threw his head back as Even moved his finger in and out of him, sliding inside him and brushing against his prostate, making him groan and beg for more. – Yes, please, fuck, so good, please...

– Fuck yeah, you’re doing so good, baby, Even slurred over him. 

_ Baby _ . Isak shivered. There was something kinda intimate and almost romantic with the way Even was calling him baby. It did things to him. He was getting impatient. – Fuck me, he muttered, wanting it so badly that he hardly could think. – Please… baby. 

And finally, when he was good and ready, Even put the condom on. Then he grabbed Isak’s hips, pushed his legs further to the sides and fucked slowly into him. Isak moaned, totally lost in the pleasure of feeling Even’s hard cock sliding into him. Even fucked him so good that his entire body quivered. A ragged sound tore from his throat and he was so hard that it was almost painful. 

Isak wrapped his hand around himself, his cock red and swollen and desperately leaking. He jerked his cock, fast and firm, trying to get off. He bucked his hips, constantly pushing back and forth, onto Even's dick and into his own hand and it only took about a minute of this for Isak to come, spilling warm and wet into his palm. He moaned when Even kept pounding into him, prolonging his orgasm. Even groaned harder and louder.  –  I'm gonna... I'm gonna..., he began trying to warn Isak, but he never got it out. Even cursed and grunted when he came, spilling into the condom inside of Isak. 

Isak stared up at Even with dazed eyes and whimpered, when Even moved closer and kissed him in a breathy kiss. The way Even looked down at him as he did, made Isak feel like something special and a bunch of other things he couldn't really describe. He just knew that no one had ever looked at him like that.

Even pulled carefully out and threw the condom away. They laid there for a minute, on Isak’s bed. They took in what had just happened and stared up at the ceiling.  –  Fucking hell, you're incredible, Even said and Isak gave him a half assed, fucked out smile. He was very tired. 

Even then stood up, wobbled a little before he found his balance, then he found a towel and started to clean them both up. 

Isak just lay there, chuckling a little.  – Fuck, I’m totally spent. 

– I can see that,  Even smiled as he squatted beside him, cleaning him up. He threw the towel on the floor and brushed a hand through Isak’s hair. Isak laughed and they locked eyes. Isak felt so close to him emotionally, it was weird. 

Even kissed him and lay down next to him.  – Let’s rest for a while, he whispered. 

– Yeah. 

Isak closed his eyes and relaxed against Even's body. Even was so warm and cuddly next to him. Isak stuck his nose into Even’s neck and breathed in the smell of him. This was nice, almost too nice.  _ Fuck _ . Being just friendly could prove to be difficult. He didn’t have the energy to worry, though. He felt so safe and warm and cuddly and nothing else mattered. He fell asleep wrapped up in Even.


	5. The Hot Tub (ludus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter It's Christmas and Isak and Even goes on a cabin trip in the weekend around New Year's Eve... Isak and Even are playful and talk about their kinks. Then there's a bonfire in the snow and a hot tub under the stars and things might start to hurt a little...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small warning: There's a hint of something dom/sub in this chapter, but it's consentual and negotiated, the boys are basically just having some fun in the snow. Just beware if you could be triggered by things like these. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Good or bad, I can take it :)

When Isak woke up next to Even the next morning, he felt like he had come home. It was “Little Christmas Eve”, the day before Christmas Eve, and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.  He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked over at Even as he slept. Even was just beautiful and Isak sat up and stared at him for a few minutes.  He felt so much for Even, so much he didn’t know how to put into words.  Still, knowing that this thing happening between them was a temporary thing, he was already mourning in anticipation of them ending the bet, trying to only be friends, slowly drifting apart, and perhaps totally losing touch.

Not now, though. Now he could steal warmth from Even’s body.  He lay back down, snuggled closer to Even and stayed that way for a little while. Even’s body felt so warm and safe next to him. Isak wanted to stay here all day. Still, he knew that Even probably needed to be with his family today, and he knew that he probably should spend some time with his own, too. He prepared himself to get up from bed and get out. Just not right away, though. He needed to feel the warmth from Even a little bit longer.

He focused on the safe feeling of Even’s body, as he breathed in the smell of him. It felt so good, and so warm. He had to admit to himself that he was so attracted to Even that he didn't know what to do.

When Even finally yawned and came to life, it didn’t help much. Even’s sleepy smile and relaxed body only made Isak feel more enamoured. 

Luckily, Even didn’t seem to be in a hurry to go either. He clung to Isak and seemed to sniff in the smell from Isak’s neck. – Mmm.. nice, Even muttered. – I like waking up to this. 

– Mmm, Isak agreed. He noticed that the warmth and closeness started to do things with him. Before he knew it, his dick was pressing hard against Even’s hip. 

– Uhm, hello, good morning, Even smiled teasingly, and his eyes were only narrow slits because of his wide smile.

Isak couldn’t help it, he felt how his face got hotter. He was about to withdraw a little, when Even pulled him closer. Suddenly Isak could feel Even’s hard dick against his own groin. 

Even’s eyes were dark. – Up for a quicky? he breathed. 

And of course, there was only one answer to a question like that.  Isak snuggled closer to Even and gave him a slow and sloppy kiss. Then he grabbed hold of Even’s dick and found a way to jack them both off in his hand. Even moaned, and then he folded his hand around Isak’s so their hands made a tunnel they both could fuck into. Even kissed him sleepily while they both fucked into their entwined hands. It was strange how such a sleepy, relaxed way to get off could feel so intimate and sweet. Isak came embarrassingly quickly. Even didn’t seem to mind at all, he came only a moment or two later. He kissed Isak hotly and found a t-shirt on the floor that he could clean them up with. Isak was surprised by how sweet that action seemed, and how enamoured it made him feel. 

They stayed in bed, holding each other, for a while longer, and Isak enjoyed every second that he could get. 

In the end Even had to leave, though, and it felt so  _ wrong _ . Isak tried to hide it behind a friendly mask, of course, but it was almost like Even picked up on it, because he was quick to ask: – Do you wanna meet next weekend? The weekend before New Year’s Eve? 

Isak watched him as he pulled on his t-shirt and sweater. – Uhm what did you have in mind? he asked.

– Mom told me that I could bring some friends to our cabin. And, uh, I thought you and I could stay for a few days?

Isak stared at him. – A few days? That sounds like a little bit more than the two fucks we have left in our little agreement?

Even’s face fell a little, but then he gave Isak a long look. – It doesn’t have to count as more than one sleepover, he said. – Does it?

Isak had to think for a moment. The rules said nothing about spending more than one night together.  _ Damn _ , he had really not thought this bet through at all. Well, since he practically had lost the bet already, he wasn’t exactly going to argue against it. More time with Even had to be a good thing. Right?

– I guess that a trip like that could count as one sleepover, he said. A slow smile grew on his face. – And I have no plans for New Year’s. 

Even seemed very pleased. His eyes were smiling when he gave Isak a soft kiss. – Cool, then. I can pick you up on the 28th. You need to bring some skis and clothes, and I can fix the rest. 

So that was that. Isak still felt like he lost a part of himself when Even left his place. But he knew that he would see Even again next weekend.

Isak spent Christmas Eve with his mother and Christmas Day with his father and his new family. It was alright—no big surprises. His mom was on medication now and seemed to be okay. His father was so painfully determined to keep everyone happy, that Isak managed to behave. He had maybe not forgiven his father for leaving, not really, but he could see that the man meant well. 

That night Isak spent too much time texting Even, but he didn’t care. Even made him laugh, and forget his worries about family and responsibilities, and it was so worth it.

He met Even again on December 26th, and they went to see a silly Christmas movie. Afterwards, they ended up chatting a little, planning their cabin trip. The next day they hung out with the other boys for a while, and then the day was there. Thursday. The day they were going to the cabin. Isak told himself it was nothing special, and that they just were going to have a good time. They were going to have fun. He still was nervous. This weekend plus one more sleepover was all he would get from Even. And then they would go back to being friends. He started to feel like he had too much to lose, right now.

It was snowing when Even picked Isak up. Isak put his backpack and skis into the car, and got in. The slippery snow almost made him trip when he got in, but he didn’t care, because Even was sitting there, smiling and looking at him like he was some sort of miracle. Without thinking, Isak gave him a soft kiss on his lips. 

Even hummed and smiled. – Hm, lips, he said, and they both knew what that meant. Well, it wasn’t like they didn’t know before. Isak was certain that he never could have managed to stay in a cabin alone with Even for several days without throwing himself at him, sooner or later. 

The fluttering feeling inside wouldn’t go away, though, and Isak wondered how he was supposed to survive the anticipation. 

– Is the cabin far away? he asked. 

– No, the drive to the cabin shouldn’t take too long, Even smiled. – although the snow makes it kind of difficult to see the road. 

– Yeah, Isak said, staring worriedly at the dancing snowflakes in front of the car. 

Even didn’t seem worried at all, though. – It’s fine, he said and put some music on. Isak tried to lean back in his seat and relax, while they chatted about everything and nothing. At least it was kind of relaxing watching the snow. Soon he had forgotten his nerves about the weather and the road. 

The road narrowed as they drove into the forest. In a few minutes, they reached a gate that said “Private road”, and Even parked the car on the side. – We’ll have to ski from here, he said. Isak nodded and followed his lead as they put on their backpacks and skis.

Isak looked around. The snow had finally stopped, and the ground was white before them, just like the trees. It looked quite idyllic, actually. Isak could see some tracks that were snowed over on the small road ahead.

They started to ski towards the cabin. – I was here yesterday to bring the groceries and put on a little heat, Even admitted. – I didn’t want it to be freezing for hours. But I think that we still need to put a fire on in the fireplace, and turn up the heat on the water heater, and the hot tub, too. 

– Cool, Isak smiled, as he found a rhythm similar to Even’s. He hadn’t even thought about warming up the cabin. In his mind he had imagined all sorts of interesting things he wanted to do with Even this weekend, but doing domestic shit like preparing everything in the cabin, hadn’t crossed his mind at all. For some reason, the thought of it, gave him a tingling feeling in his belly. It was so domestic, and it felt kind of hot that he and Even could be like that.

After few minutes on the skis, they could see the cabin between the snowy trees. It was a small wooden house with brown walls and white trim. Is was kind of cute, and Isak wondered how modern it could be. He silently hoped there were an indoor toilet. Even had mentioned a water heater, and even a hot tub, so it couldn’t be that bad.  

They put their skis up against the wall of the cabin and walked inside. Even went first, smiling and talking about everything. He seemed a little excited, almost nervous. Isak just smiled and took everything in. The cabin was cozy. Although Even had put some heat on the day before, it still was a bit chilly. They put away their backpacks, opened the door to their bedroom and made a fire in the fireplace. They ended up standing next to each other, watching the fire building. The flames curled and swayed, flicking this way and that, crackling as they burned the dry wood. It was so good to stand next to Even and feel the fire’s warmth at last. They stared at the flames, holding their hands out to get just a little more of the gentle heat.

– I like this, Even said, in a warm voice, reaching for Isak’s hand. 

Isak turned to Even, took his one hand and reached for his other. – Yeah?

– Yeah, I like to show you one of the places that is kinda important to me, and where I can be myself, you know?

Isak nodded, without a word.

– I like making this fire with you, too, Even added. He blushed a little. 

Isak wanted to believe that he was talking about more than just the fireplace. – Me too, he whispered. He knew this thing between them probably wasn't love, he knew that he should be careful, but he couldn’t resist. He leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching. Blue, blue eyes stared into his.  _ Dear god _ , he couldn't fight against the want to kiss him. Even’s very smell was mixing with the smell from the fireplace and was flooding Isak’s senses. He kissed Even and warmth spread through his whole body.

Isak wanted to feel more of Even, and he held him closer, burying his face in Even’s neck. The want for more was a fire in him. Even pulled Isak down on the soft sheep skins that were in front of the fireplace. Their bodies fit together as if they were made just for this, to fall into one another, to feel this natural rhythm. They locked eyes for just a moment, just enough for them to say  _ yes, this, now _ , without saying a word. Then Even was undoing Isak’s jeans, pulling them off, kissing from his toes upward, slowly, his hands on Isak’s legs, always just a little higher than the kisses. 

_ Soft _ . Even’s hands.  _ Soft and warm _ —on Isak’s face, on his chest, in his dreams. Fingertips like matches grazing Isak’s skin with flame. Even’s flames danced on Isak for a small eternity. I sak felt his back arch in anticipation, knowing where Even’s fingers would soon reach. Isak’s head rocked back against the soft sheepskin as Even did, the first moan escaping his lips.

Even was so tender when he prepared Isak, and when he pushed inside of him and filled him up. He stared at Isak like he owned him and was owned by him at the same time. He kissed him and whispered sweet words and was so tender and soft that Isak almost couldn’t breathe. The only thing he could do was to moan Even’s name and let out all his pent up feelings through his body and his movements. 

–  Oh fuck, Isak gasped, overwhelmed by the heat as Even moved inside of him and his fingers were jerking Isak’s cock with sure strokes.  – Even, h e breathed, opening his eyes and staring up into the glazed blue eyes above him.

The two of them moved together in the warmth from the fireplace, feeling the heat fill them up from both the outside and the inside. 

– Come , baby, Even whispered as he rocked his lower body into Isak. Their eyes remained locked together.  –  Come for me.

Isak couldn’t hold it back any longer. Raw whimpers spilled from him as cum shot from his cock onto his belly in long hard spurts.  – Fuck, Isak gasped again, fighting for breaths. He felt overwhelmed with emotions, almost like he had his feelings outside his skin. He felt a tightness in his chest that left him breathless. He was so fucked. He had so lost his heart to Even Bech Næsheim.  _ Fuck.  _

Even looked at him with something like glazed awe in his eyes. When he lost himself in his final thrusts and spilled into the condom inside of Isak, he growled:  – Fuuuck. 

He more or less collapsed onto Isak, breathing heavily. – You’re killing me, he murmured.

Isak wanted to say something witty like _You’ve seen nothing yet_ , or _What do you think I’m here for, the landscape?_ but he couldn’t. The feelings were still too raw, too hard to cover up. He couldn’t help but think: _I’m not killing you. I want you._ _I want you so much._ _Why can’t I have you? If I can’t have you… what’s the point?_

When he didn’t respond at once, Even leant back and looked at him.  – Hey, you okay? he whispered. 

Isak nodded and then opened his eyes.  –  I'm fine.

Or at least, he would be. 

Even stared down into his eyes, and tenderly brushed away a wet lock of hair that clung to Isak’s forehead. Even’s eyes shone with a new rawness, and it would be so easy to read love into his eyes.  – Good, he said, in a soft, soft voice. So fucking adorable. He leaned down and gave Isak a kiss so sweet, that a shiver passed through both of them. Then he rolled over and they lay side by side on the soft sheepskin. Neither of them said anything, but it was like they both wanted to stay there, with each other, in this bubble where reality meant nothing.  They lay there in front of the fireplace for a long time, before they finally got up and cleaned up.  

Isak said nothing about his feelings. Even didn’t ask. The good, playful atmosphere between them was back in almost no time. Isak decided he could find ways to forget his feelings. So he did.  

The rest of the weekend they fucked a lot. Like.  _ So much. _ Of course they did other things, too. They went skiing, and laughed, and kissed, and played games, and talked a lot. They had a lot of fun, basically. Even was being very playful, and Isak followed his lead. Sometimes they just stayed in, chilling. Isak would read a book and Even would draw something. They talked about trying the hot tub, but never got around to it.

Isak struggled more and more to keep his feelings in check. For every time they had an intimate moment, or he got to see a new side of Even, he felt the ache in his chest.

When they didn’t fuck, or be intimate in another way, they even talked about fucking. 

– Do you have any kinks? Even asked, one evening after a long ski trip. They were sitting on the sofa, cuddled together, drinking coffee and tea.

Isak almost spluttered out his coffee from the question. – What? he asked, in an attempt to stall the answer. – Why?

Even shrugged, and smiled a little. – I don’t know, we’re having a lot of fun here, and I thought it would be a shame if you lost the opportunity to do something you really like. 

Isak swallowed. – Uhm, I don’t know… do you have any kinks, then? Or things you like?

Even seemed to think for a moment, as his cheeks got a little pink. – I… well.. I guess I’m pretty vanilla, really. But I do kinda like to lose control sometimes.

Isak blushed, as he imagined all kinds of scenarios where he could control Even. – Oh. So like… do you like to be… tied up and stuff?

Even’s eyes got darker. – Yeah… I guess I wouldn’t mind that. And, you know I could test out some light spanking or things like that. 

– Yeah?

– Yeah, maybe. It’s not like I fantasize a lot about it. But it could be fun to try. 

– Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that, Isak nodded. 

Even paused for a moment. He looked a little embarrassed. – I think I would like to… to try a little gagging or choking too, I think. Maybe. I just kinda like the thought of having no control. Sometimes. Does it sound weird to you?

Isak shook his head. Even’s words were making him really hot. He could see how being controlled could be appealing, but the thought of controlling Even was even hotter. – I think I could like… being a little bossy with you, actually, he admitted. – Like for a game. Not all the time. 

Even released a breath. – Yeah, not all the time, just to try it out. Because, I think I kinda like to be in charge at times, too, so...

– Yeah. I kinda like that, too.

Isak was feeling very hot in his cheeks. – But uh... if we ever do stuff like that we should have a safe word, right?

– Like “red”? Yeah, we should have that, Even answered. – And if we do gagging and stuff, then we can’t say anything, but…

– We could just tap two times. Like in boxing, you know. 

Even smiled. – Tapping out? Yeah, good one. 

Isak smiled back. This wasn’t too bad. They were talking. About stuff that he never really imagined talking about like this. He liked it. 

– So… You don’t have any kinks, then? Even asked. 

Isak blushed a little. – Nah… Well, I have had some fantasies about doing it in public places, he admitted. – Or outside. 

Even smiled, and looked like he liked the idea. – Yeah, I never tried that before, so that could be fun, he said.

– Yeah, Isak said. – And I guess I would like to try some toys, too, sometime. 

Even nodded. – Me too.

– Okay then, Isak said. – Uhm, so do you want to try some of this when we’re here?

Even laughed a little. – Well, it won’t be easy to find toys here, he said. – But I guess, if we feel like it, I would be fine with it.

– Yeah, same here, Isak nodded. – If we feel like it. 

– Right. 

They looked at each other, and it didn’t take long before they were all over each other again. And although they were “vanilla”, as Even probably would have said, there was a new playfulness and openness between them, that Isak cherished. Somehow it felt like the new openness between them just brought them even closer to each other. 

On New Year’s Eve, their last night in the cabin, they decided to celebrate by eating outside and watching the stars. Maybe they would take a hot bath under the black sky. 

It was already dark when they bundled up and went outside. Even brought a thermos with hot and spicy gløgg and some delicious food that they heated in the bonfire. They even brought some warm sheepskins that they could sit on and some warm woolen blankets to wrap themselves in. 

The bonfire made everything cozy and warm in the snow and the darkness. They enjoyed the food and the hot gløgg, and Isak got slightly tipsy from the alcohol.  It was cold, though, so Isak sat as close to Even as was possible. Soon Even was on Isak’s lap and they had a thick woolen blanket over both of them to stay warm. Isak watched how the flickering light from the bonfire made dancing shadows on Even’s face. Shit, he was beautiful. 

Isak’s hands rubbed over Even’s body under the blanket, sneaking everywhere he could make some sort of contact, like through his jeans. He whispered in Even’s ear how hot he was and how much he wanted to fuck him. 

Even closed his eyes as Isak breathed his whispers into his ear. Even’s body hinted at arousal as Isak became bolder and he ran his hands under Even’s jacket and over his stomach, tracing down to his jeans. Isak could feel Even’s body arch as he sat on Isak’s lap and Isak’s cock started to grow.

Isak’s hands were cold as he slid one under Even’s jacket and shirt to his nipples. Even’s body cringed as Isak’s cold fingers touched his nipple, instantly making it harder than it already was. Even gasped a slight moan. Isak’s hands quickly warmed up to Even’s body and he caressed Even’s chest. Soft moans came from his mouth as Isak kissed his neck. 

Isak’s fingers drifted further down Even’s body, slowly tracing down his stomach. Isak reached into Even’s jeans and rubbed his hands over his boxers. It was like Even’s dick was radiating heat inside his pants.

– Wanna do this out here, Even said in a breathless laugh. Blue eyes gazed into Isak’s with a clear wish.

– In the snow? Isak breathed, smiling. The thought was a little ridiculous, but kind of beautiful and hot, too.

Even stared at him, with a sudden sincerity in his eyes. – Yeah. And I wanna feel your cold fingers… everywhere. 

_ Oh. _ Okay. 

The idea slowly got to Isak as he watched his breath turn into smoke in front of him.  _ Fucking outside. In the snow. _ Was it doable? Probably. Did he want to? Fuck yeah. It was definitely worth a try. He even had lube and some condoms in his pocket (they were planning to try the hot tub, after all, it was best to be prepared). 

– Okay, Isak breathed, and pushed Even down on the other sheep skin, so that he lay on his back. Even stared back at him with desire and surprised playfulness in his eyes. He was so gorgeous, and the snow was gentle and lush around them, cold to the touch, powdery heavenly beauty. 

Isak moved forward and kissed Even’s soft lips. The blanket partly fell off them, but that didn’t matter now. They were both hot with want, anyway. Isak pulled down Even’s jeans to his knees. He hesitated for a moment, not wanting Even to get too cold, but then he realized that he needed access, so he pulled them off completely. Even’s shoes went off in the process, but his woolen socks stayed on. 

Isak pulled the blankets around Even so he wouldn’t get too cold. And, fuck he looked so beautiful and obscene with his winter jacket and woolen socks on while his long legs were naked and spread before Isak.

Isak found the lube in his pocket and warmed it up in his hands. Then he stimulated Even’s opening with his wet and slippery fingers. Even moaned and looked at him with dark eyes. Isak slowly pushed a finger inside of him. Even was still a little wet from the last time they fucked, and he slid easily inside.  – Yes, Even whispered. – Colder, please. 

He blushed like he was asking for something dirty.

Isak stared at him, wondering if he was kidding, but Even’s eyes were dark and serious. 

_ Okay _ , he could do that. Isak reached for the snow and let his fingers cool in the snow before he reached for Even’s hole again.  _ Fuck _ , it was cold. 

Isak leaned over Even. And, fuck, he was so beautiful lying there in the light from the bonfire and surrounded by the white snow and the black night. Already the coldness of the snow had deep chilled Isak’s fingers to a point where they almost wouldn’t bend. But cold or not, they were doing this in the snow and Isak didn't give in – ever. Besides, his fingers would get warm soon enough.

When his ice cold hand searched between Even’s hips and found his hole again, Even hissed and writhed, but looked like he enjoyed it and was anticipating his fingers. Isak slowly pushed an ice cold finger into him. The tight warmth around his finger made him shut his eyes for a moment to keep in control. Even shivered and moaned. 

– Fucking hell, so good! he breathed. His breath was rising in white puffs to the black sky above.  Isak searched for Even’s prostate while he continued his slow strokes in and out. Even’s eyes closed as Isak found it, and a strangled sound came out. Even’s body arched slightly to each brush. Isak softly kissed and bit Even’s neck as his finger continued to tease. 

Isak’s dick was fully hard now, and he made soft thrusts against Even’s legs. His hardness only seemed to arouse Even more. 

– You gotta feel this, Even said, still breathing hard. – The snow… You gotta...Pants off, take them off, please? 

Isak obliged, and pulled his pants down. The cold air brushing his butt and dick was strangely exciting. Just as Isak’s hand found its way back to tease Even open, Even stuck his own hand into the snow. – Feel this, he said, and wrapped his ice cold fingers around Isak’s dick. Isak couldn’t hold back a loud moan.  _ Oh fuck _ , what a feeling. The heat inside and the cold fingers around him made him desperate with want. 

Isak stuck two cold fingers deep inside of Even and stopped inside of him. Even’s body arched and he twitched. Isak whispered into Even’s ear how much he wanted to fuck him. He wanted to fuck him out here in the snow.

He wanted this so much it hurt. 

For a moment, he had to struggle a little, finding the condom and the lube again, making himself ready. Then he moved up and kissed Even before he lifted Even’s legs up and to the sides and he positioned his dick at Even’s entrance. Isak held onto Even’s legs and hips and slid slowly into him.

And,  _ oh fuck _ . Even’s hole felt hot and tight as it stretched to fit Isak’s dick. Even’s back arched and he let out a small moan.  Isak wanted to fuck Even quick and senseless into the snow, but something held him back, and the whole thing was slow, and tender, and surprisingly emotional. Even looked like an angel lying on the skins in the snow. Isak stared into Even’s icy blue eyes and couldn’t deal with it. He felt so full of want and so emotional that it almost was too much.

Even was moaning loudly, and he seemed like he was really allowing himself to lose himself in the sensations. It was so hot. Suddenly Isak recalled how they had talked about their kinks, and he shivered as he wondered if Even would like to let Isak take control a little. 

On an impulse, but very carefully, Isak took his hand and covered Even’s mouth. It wasn’t to keep Even quiet, of course. Nobody could hear them out here anyway. It was just something Isak wanted to test, whether Even would like it. Even met his eyes, and the sound he made was kind of approving.

– Is this… okay? Isak muttered.

Even nodded. He didn’t seem to mind at all. 

– You can... tap me if you want me to let go, right? Isak added.

Even nodded again. He looked a little dazed. He could probably smell his own scent on Isak’s hand. The thought turned Isak on, and he continued with his slow thrusts. At the same time, his warm feelings for Even roared inside of him. Shit, to be able to test out things like these with Even felt like a privilege, and it made him feel so… grateful. 

His other hand then moved down to Even’s dick and he wrapped his fingers around it. Isak’s thrusts were slow and deep and his fingers stroked Even’s dick in the same rhythm. However, Isak quickly discovered that he didn’t have the coordination to keep up with all of this for long, so he held onto Even’s hip instead.

Even’s muffled moans got louder under Isak’s hand and Isak made sure to cover his mouth tighter. Even took his hand and put it over his nose and mouth.  _ Oh fuck. _ Isak lost his rhythm for a moment as he realized that Even wanted him to close off his breath a little. Even moaned under his hand as Isak thrust into him.

It blew Isak’s mind that Even wanted him to hold him down like this and fuck him and suffocate him. Isak pulled his dick all the way out and thrust in hard. And again. And Even wasn’t tapping him at all, and he just looked so lost in it all. Isak was starting to struggle to keep upright without steadying himself. He had to take his hand away from Even’s mouth and nose so he could support himself holding onto Even. Even fought for his breath.  – Fuck… so hot… he gasped, and his hands were clutching onto Isak’s arms. 

He looked so flustered with his red lips and red cheeks and his messy hair, and Isak couldn’t keep away. He kissed Even sloppily while he reached for Even’s hair and tugged a little, just  like he knew Even liked it.  Even moaned and held onto Isak with both his hands. His dick was trapped between them and it was strange to see how red and swollen it was already, with so little direct touch.

Isak had trouble keeping his slow pace now. He started to fuck Even a little faster, still tugging at his hair when Even’s back arched and his body began to shake. Isak grabbed hold of Even’s dick and stroked it as he felt Even’s hole grip onto his dick. Isak groaned loudly, and then Even convulsed under him. Suddenly Isak’s hand was covered with Even’s cum, and Even was breathing heavily under him, looking almost lost for this world. In the next moment, Isak groaned again as his legs shook, the tingling feeling rushed through him and his own cum exploded into the condom inside of Even. 

Isak leant back.  As he glanced up at the black starlit sky, snowflakes fell on his face - colorless confetti over him. Over them both. Isak breathed heavily as the snowflakes cooled down his face. 

– Snow, Even muttered under him. 

– Yeah, Isak breathed a laugh. He leant over Even again and  kissed his neck as he pulled out of him. Exhausted from the excitement, they fell down on the sheep skins, but the cold quickly made them move. 

– The hot tub, Even whispered, as he tried to wipe some of the cum off him. He took off his jacket and sweater. – It’s warmed up. Come on. 

A hot tub sounded amazing right now. They quickly pulled off the rest of their clothes and ran through the snow for the tub. They had to work together to take the lid off, and the steam rose like smoke up in the air. They slid into the warm water, and it was so hot it was almost painful. It was a shock to the system, for sure. 

Isak and Even were sitting close in the tub, enjoying the hot water, staring at the stars and the falling snow. Isak was slowly relaxing. – God, why haven’t we done this before, he muttered. – This is the best I have felt in my whole life.

Okay, that was maybe a bit much to admit. Because he wasn’t just talking about the hot water, or the pretty view. And he guessed that it was rather obvious. 

– Mm, Even seemed to agree. When he smiled his eyes crinkled and he looked pleased. Happy. – We’ve had a good time this weekend, right?

– Yeah.

Even laughed a little. He moved closer in the warm water and let his hand slide around Isak’s waist. – I thought you would give me more fight than you did, actually, when I suggested this trip. 

Isak sank into him. He almost didn’t have the energy to answer. – Oh yeah?

– Yeah. Four nights in a cabin is a little bit more than a fuck or a sleepover, you know. 

Isak smiled. – I know.

– And we’ve probably had plenty of that love juice you talked about.

Isak’s laugh was raspy. – The hormones, yeah. 

Even looked at him for a long time. – You knew that you were risking losing our bet. So why did you say yes? 

Isak stared back at him.  _ Because I have fallen in love with you already, you fucking idiot! Because I just can’t say no to a chance to be close to you. _

He couldn’t say that, of course. He shrugged. – Well, if  _ you  _ want to win your bet, you should step up your game. Where are the candles, and the wine? he teased.

Even chuckled. – I give you a bonfire, snow, stars and a hot naked bath. I think I’m doing pretty well, thank you very much.

Isak had to laugh. – Yeah, you are, actually.

He watched the stars for a moment. It was like they had been in some sort of bubble these last few days. Tomorrow they were going back to reality again. After this, they had only one fuck left, and then it was over. Just the thought of it gave him an ache in his chest. He wanted so much more. But what did Even want? Isak wasn’t sure if he could stand going on with this, if it only was a game that ended when their fifth fucking was over.

– So who do you think will win the bet? he asked.  _ Tell me you like me _ , he wanted to say.  _ Tell me that you have fallen for me, too _ .  _ Tell me that we can quit this fucking bet _ .

Even’s eyes were wide when they looked at him. – I can’t really answer that question, Isak. Then I’ll reveal it all, won’t I?

Isak shrugged again. – So? Would that be so bad?

Even shook his head. – Maybe not. But I’m not sure that I’m ready. 

– Oh, okay. 

The sinking, almost sickening feeling in Isak’s stomach made him want to get away. Run into the cabin and hide his face. Even wasn’t ready. That basically meant that he still was thinking about the game, right? That it mattered more than Isak, anyway. Well, of course it did. How could he ever believe that someone cool like Even would bother with a mess like  _ him _ ? 

Fuck, it still hurt to think about. He sank into the water for a moment, and ducked his face under, to hide his emotions. When he came up, Even looked very thoughtful, almost a little distant. 

Then fireworks filled the horizon. Someone was firing up some fireworks, maybe from some cabins or maybe the nearest village. 

– Happy New Year, Even said then, staring at the fireworks. 

Isak swallowed. – Happy New Year, he answered. 

Their eyes met. And then they kissed. And the kiss was so sweet and soft that Isak felt like he melted into Even. 

_ Okay _ . Isak knew he couldn’t do this anymore. It was too painful. All this guessing and wanting killed him. He had to quit the bet. They had to stop. He needed to feel close to Even one last time, though. 

When they got up from the hot tub, gathered all their stuff and went inside, all Isak wanted to do was to hold Even close. So he did. He dried them both off with a towel and brought Even to the bedroom. – We’ll tidy up in the morning. 

Even looked at him, and Isak’s need must have been evident, because, he didn’t question it at all. – Okay.

They fell into each other on the bed, and moved together like in a slow dance, and Isak felt like he never had been so close to anyone before. Even’s blue, bright eyes looked at Isak the whole time. Isak shivered, suddenly realizing that this was their last time together. He shut his eyes to hide that they stung. This couldn't be the last time with Even. He couldn't lose this. But he knew that he needed to withdraw. He needed to protect himself.

The next morning, when they were ready to go, he said it.  _ I want you to love me _ , he wanted to say.  _ Please, why can’t you fall in love with me?  _ Instead he said:

– I want to quit the bet, Even.

He tried not to show how saying those words almost broke him. 

– What? Even looked at him like there was something wrong with him. – We have only one time left. 

For a moment Isak wondered what the hell he was doing. One more time, just one more sleepover, and he would have mourned the lost bet and the lost love in peace, no questions asked. However, he knew he needed to do this. He needed to protect his feelings, it was already too much. 

– Yeah, I know, he said.

– Why? Even asked.

Isak looked at his hands. – Please don’t ask, I just can’t do this anymore. 

Even didn’t answer at once. When Isak looked up, he realized that Even was still staring at him. Even’s eyes were so blue, so blue, but then he looked down, like he was resigned to it. – Okay, he said. – That’s your call, Isak. It’s over when one of us says no, just like we agreed that it could be. The bet is over. 

Isak nodded, feeling his heart break in a thousand pieces. It was over.


	6. The Party (philautia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is over. But then there's this party. Even's birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I have to warn about anything in this chapter.

The bet was over. Isak couldn’t believe it, but it was true. It had only been a game, and hoping for something more had been pointless. It still hurt. It was over, and he had to try to mend his heart somehow. 

The drive home from the cabin had been so painful, and awkward, too. They had both been so friendly and polite with each other, and it was heartbreaking. Isak knew then, that he needed to give himself some distance to it all. So when they came back to Oslo, he had tried to avoid Even a bit. He wasn’t proud of it, but seeing Even every day would just have been too painful. So he had to stay away from school and work for some days. He said it was because of a flu, but it was mostly just to pull himself together. He decided to swap shifts with Niklas at work, too, so he didn’t have to see Even every day.

He needed to take care of himself for a little while.

At first he just sulked of course, and felt sorry for himself. Well, to be honest it felt more like grieving than sulking, but the point was that he withdrew. And he shed some tears, while he watched stupid movies and played Fifa and tried to do anything to forget. 

After a couple of days, he realized that he needed to do something. He realized that he wanted to be honest about who he was. At first it was just a decision. He decided that he would stop accepting this image of himself as a guy who only liked to party and fuck around. Not that he ever had pretended to be like that, but he had never said that he wasn’t, either. Even his closest friends thought he was a player.

He knew that he needed to talk to them, but that proved to be difficult. He just knew that he would, when the time was right. In the meantime, he just tried to be himself.

He spent a lot of time with his friends, too. He didn’t know how to talk to them about the things that were bothering him, but at least he had company. Sometimes he hung with Eskild, Linn and the girls, and sometimes with Jonas and the boys. He even hung with Sana, Yousef and Elias one night, but that was kind of difficult. They kept reminding him about Even all the time, and Isak was nervous he would pop up any minute.

Isak and Even still ran into each other, though, from time to time. And when they did, everything was nice and friendly, but of course not like before. Isak didn’t have the energy to make jokes or be funny around Even. He just couldn’t. He didn’t have the energy to hang with Even, either. He just smiled, and said hi, and that was about it. If he missed Even so hard that his chest ached, nobody needed to know that.

The weird part was, that Isak didn’t regret the bet. Not really. He had experienced some of the most tender and intimate moments with Even, and he could never regret that. Given a second chance, he would probably do it all over again. Just so that he could have those sweet memories.

And now, Even had invited Isak and all their friends to his birthday party. The invitation said that he was going to party in style. The dress code was suits and dresses.

Isak didn’t know how he was supposed to survive it at all. The thing was, his feelings for Even were still just as strong as before. He knew that at the moment he saw Even, he would long to touch him, kiss him and just spend time with him.

_ Well _ , he said to himself, maybe it was about time they spent some time together, just as friends. Because if he couldn’t have Even as the love of his life, he could at least have Even as his friend.

So Isak accepted the invitation and started to prepare. It took some time before he knew what to give Even for his present, but when he finally did, it was as if something clicked in place inside of him. In that moment, he knew that it was the right choice, no matter the outcome.

Even threw his party on Saturday, February 10th, and everyone was there. Isak saw where Even was, at the moment he entered the apartment. He looked so hot in his dark suit, that it was almost difficult to take in.

Isak stepped out of his shoes and hung up his winter coat and stole a glance at Even while Jonas and Mahdi talked next to him.

Then he met Even’s eyes.

His heart raced, but he tried not to show it. He smiled and nodded. Politely. Even smiled back, and fuck, his smile was beautiful. Isak wanted to run away and he wanted to pull Even close and never let go, but in the end he just walked over to Even. He had a birthday present to give, after all.

– Hi, Even, he said, and handed Even his present.  _ Damn, those blue, blue eyes…  _ – Happy birthday.

Even stared at the gift, and then at Isak. – You shouldn’t…

Isak waved it away, while his heart beat faster as he thought about the content. – It’s nothing, really. Probably silly.

Even clutched the gift in his hand and smiled a little. – Thank you, Isak. It’s good to see you. I don’t see you as often at work anymore.

Isak blushed, as he felt bad for avoiding Even. – No, I had to change some of my shifts. Because of classes, you know.

– Yeah, of course, Even said.

Isak noticed that the others around them were looking at them like they were watching a game or an interesting movie. Noora stared at them with wide eyes, William looked amused, Chris looked confused, Sana had a knowing smirk on her face while Yousef mostly looked curious.

They were interrupted when Vilde dragged Even with her to the kitchen, asking him to find more glasses.

Sana was with him then, giving him a hug and one of her beautiful smiles. – You look nice, she said. 

– Well, you look amazing, Isak surprised himself saying back. She did. And Yousef was standing next to her, looking very aware of the same thing. 

– I’m going to keep it short right now, Sana said. – But I just want to tell you that it’s kinda cool how you have made it possible for all of us to get to know each other. 

Isak stared at her. – I didn’t do that, he protested. – You, Vilde and Eva made Even and me meet. And well, you introduced the Bakka boys to the girls, right? 

Sana rolled her eyes, although she looked a little pleased. – Yeah, but you have had a few parties at Kollektivet, inviting us all. You kind of made it possible for Even to invite everyone tonight. Eskild and Linn too, you know. Own it, Isak. 

Isak laughed and gave her a careful hug. – Sure. Thanks.

Sana looked at him a little closer. – And how’s everything? 

Isak shrugged. It would probably be good to talk to her about Even, and everything that had happened, but he didn’t know how. – It’s fine, I guess. 

Sana nodded. She always knew when Isak wasn’t ready to talk. She was good like that. – I’m here if you need me, Buddy, she said, nodding, and went to talk to some of the girls. Isak looked after her, and a part of him regretted that he didn’t say anything. Another part of him was relieved.

Then he felt a poke in his side. – Everything okay? Jonas asked. He lifted his bushy eyebrows questioningly. – You’ve been a little… strange lately?

Jonas. His best friend for years. The guy who knew about Isak’s good and bad sides. Well, most of them. Isak realized that he needed to talk. And if he needed to talk, Jonas was just the guy to talk to. 

Isak dragged Jonas away from the others. – I just… it’s just…

He sighed. – I think I need to tell you something, he admitted.

Jonas looked at him. – What’s up, man? I have noticed that something is bugging you. 

– Yeah. Well. I am kinda gay. 

– Well, Jonas says, frowning, – I kinda knew that. 

– No, I mean, I’m  _ really  _ gay. I’m not this fuckboy you all seem to think I am. I’m not hooking up with someone every weekend. It’s just… rumors.

Jonas nodded. – Yeah. I guess I kinda thought so. It’s mostly Magnus who believes in those rumors, anyway, and that’s just because he looks up to you. 

Isak scoffed. – Really? 

– Yeah. But why… Why have you felt like you couldn’t tell us this? 

– I don’t know? It was just so easy to let you believe I was this guy, just like I let you believe I was straight last year. And now I just can’t keep pretending anymore. Actually, I’ve had this thing...

Jonas gave him a curious look. – A thing? 

– Yeah, Even and I. I don’t think anything will come from it, but… when I was with him I kinda realized what I really want. And I don’t want to pretend anymore.

Jonas smiled a wide smile. – Good, he said, and patted Isak’s back. – Good. So… you’re not quite over Even then, right? he asked. 

Isak didn’t answer. He noticed that Even had come back into the room. He walked over to Mikael and Elias, who were talking with Mahdi and Magnus. They seemed to be very passionate about something. Isak was curious.

Jonas noticed where he was looking. – We could go over, you know? he said.

– Yeah… I don’t know…

– Maybe this could be your chance to tell everyone?

Isak sighed. – I don’t know, he said. – Maybe. Let’s just go over and see what’s up.

Jonas smiled and bumped his shoulder. – Sure.

Isak approached the group in just the moment when Even said: – Well, he’ll probably tell you when he’s ready, then.

– Tell them what? he asked.

Even turned and met his eyes. Those damn blue eyes…

– We just asked why you and Even don’t talk anymore, Magnus answered.

_ Fuck, they noticed? _

Isak blushed. – We talk, he protested.

– Yeah, but not like before, Jonas interrupted. He looked at Isak like he was trying to tell him something. He probably was.  _ Tell them _ , his eyes said.

Isak sighed. He knew that Jonas was right. Isak was tired of holding everything inside, anyway. He was nervous, too, but more tired than nervous, to be honest. – Okay, fuck, he said. – I guess I have something to tell you guys. I know that you think that I’m a fuckboy with shifting preferences, so to speak. That’s not entirely true.

– What? Magnus asked. – Are you suddenly telling us that you are straight now, all of a sudden?

Isak stared at him. – Of course not. I think that I’m gay. Maybe. Or most definitely, really. I’m very gay. I’ve never slept around with a lot of girls. Not a lot of boys, either, but I guess that it could have… maybe…

Isak met Even’s eyes over the others. And the proud expression in his eyes floored him. God, Even was such a nice guy.

The other guys surprised him, though.

– That’s cool, Isak, Elias said, and Mikael nodded.

– Yeah, Mahdi agreed.

Magnus still looked very confused, like his understanding of the world had been turned upside down. – But you hooked up with all kinds of people every weekend?

Isak frowned. – Not every weekend. I was fake, hooking up with girls for a long time. Then I kind of stopped giving a fuck and started to hook up with some boys. And suddenly everyone thought I was a player.

Jonas cleared his throat. – What has all of this got to do with you and Even?

Of course Jonas knew exactly what it was, he was just encouraging Isak to say it.

_ Oh fuck. _ Isak sent Even a questioning look.  _ Can I tell them? _

Even nodded a tiny nod, he looked a little baffled, like he couldn’t get that Isak was doing this.

– I, uh… Isak swallowed audibly. – Even and I had a thing.

His face felt so hot it was almost painful.

– A thing? Magnus asked.

Mahdi just looked calmly at Isak, like he was not surprised at all. Jonas, Mikael and Elias looked just as calm, although there was curiosity in their eyes.

– Yeah, a thing, Isak said. He met Even’s eyes again, and this time it was Even’s turn to blush, although Isak wasn’t sure why he did.

– Oh, right, Magnus said.

– It’s cool of you to trust us with this, Mahdi added.

Wow. This was going a lot easier than he thought it would.

The silence spread in the group, as they all stared at Isak and Even. Isak didn’t know where to look. He couldn’t believe that he’d finally said it. And he was kind of proud that he had. He met Even’s eyes. Even looked so proud, and Isak couldn’t believe it. Even gave Isak a smile. When the others started to talk about something happening at school, he took a step closer to Isak. Nudged his shoulder. – That was fucking great, Isak. Brave.

Isak shrugged. – You did the same a long time ago, he said. – Back when you and Sonja broke up, and you came out.

– Sure, Even nodded, – but I was kind of drunk at the moment.

Isak smiled. – Who says that I’m not?

He was kidding, of course. But then Even laughed. And God, the sound of his laughter felt so good. All of this felt so good. To be able to talk a little and laugh a little. Isak could live with this. If this was the only thing he could get from Even, he would take it.

But then. Then Even looked at him. – Could I talk to you for a second? he asked.

_ Oh. Damn. _

– Sure, Isak said, worried about what Even wanted to talk about.

They walked through the flat to find a place where they could talk more privately. They ended up in the kitchen, standing at the counter. Even seemed nervous. Isak was a wreck. Even put Isak’s gift down on the counter and looked at Isak.

– So, what do you want to talk about? Isak asked, feeling nervous and tired.

Even took a deep breath and seemed to be mustering up some courage. – You told me not to ask why you wanted to end the bet, he started. – And I can respect that. If you’re not interested in more, then it’s best that you end it. I just gotta know.

Isak stared at him. – If I’m not interested, he repeated.

What did he mean if he’s not interested? It was like Even was speaking another language all of a sudden. It was never a question of not being interested?!

– Yeah, Even said, looking flustered. – Because. Do you remember that you asked me, in the hot tub, how I thought the bet would go? I said that I would tell you later. And I think that later is now. Because I need to tell you.

Isak’s heart suddenly raced in his chest.  _ Tell me what?  _ In the hot tub, Even had said that he wasn’t ready to tell Isak about what he thought about the bet. Isak had thought that it meant that Even felt that the bet mattered more than Isak. And Isak was sure that Even never could be bothered with a mess like Isak, anyway. So what was Even about to tell him? That Isak won the bet? 

Even’s eyes were so wide and blue, and he looked so sincere.

– I have fallen in love with you, Isak.

_ What? _

Isak stared at Even, not knowing what the hell was going on. Even in love with him? He couldn’t believe it. How could it be? Even had never given him any sign… Still, Isak’s heart was beating so fast in his chest.

Suddenly Even looked worried. Almost scared. – But maybe you knew that? he asked. – Was that the reason? I know, I shouldn’t ask, but I could understand that, you know. I promise, Isak, I don’t expect anything.

He looked down. – I tend to fuck up, and one day you’ll end up hating me. It’s better to stop now, before that happens.

_ What? _ Isak felt like Even had hit him. – Why… why the fuck would you say something like that? he asked.

Even looked him in the eyes. – It's what happens, Isak, he said, matter of factly. – We might be fine for a while, then the monotony of everyday life will set in. We’ll stop being in love. I'll forget our anniversary. I will forget everything, probably. I will have an episode where I fuck up everything. Probably several. Your friends will have nicer homes and fancier vacations, too. I won't be exciting, I'll be boring. Boring because I'm so damn tired.

Isak was horrified, but also angry. He clung to that anger, and found strength in it. – Damn you, Even, he said. –  That's nothing more than a lousy excuse not to try. Or maybe you just haven’t fallen for me, after all?! Is this just a game to you?

Even looked shocked. – Of course not!

– Then stop making up crappy excuses, Isak said and swallowed. And swallowed again. He knew it was about time to be brave. – I didn’t end the bet for that reason, he said.

– Why then? Even asked.  

Isak took a deep breath. – I had to end this bet because... I had fallen in love with you already, Even. And I thought that it was just me. I couldn’t take more of the wanting and wishing, just to lose it all in the end. I couldn’t take it. It was too much.

– You have fallen for me too? Even asked. His eyes were wide.

– Yeah.

Even smiled a shiny smile, and took a step closer to Isak. Lifted a hand to cup his face. There was humour glittering in his eyes. – And I fell for you. You know what that means?

Isak rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide that he had a tiny smile growing on his face. – That you won the bet? That being fuckbuddies can lead to feelings?

Even laughed, and Isak joined him, and it was the best feeling. – Well, yeah, that, too, Even grinned. – But it means that we are shit at talking. We need to start over.

– Start over how?

– No kidding ourselves, Even said. He looked so determined. It was kinda hot. – No fucking bet. No games. No holding things back. This time around, we talk about shit. Right?

– Right. We talk.

They stared at each other. And when they both took one step towards each other and crashed their lips together, Isak wondered if it was a bad omen for the two of them talking, or if it was just a sign of passion, or love. 

Right now, he didn’t care. Both he and Even knew that they would try this for real, and they would try to talk more, too. And Even’s lips were too sweet, and the happiness in Isak’s chest too tingly. He couldn’t think about anything else.


	7. The Gift (storge)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Even's point of view. So let's rewind a little bit, and start at the beginning. :)  
> Lol the first time I posted this chapter, I must have hit a button and google translated the whole thing to Norwegian... I got so confused:... hilarious... anyway. Let's try again.

It started in November 2017, in the storage room at Kaffebrenneriet. No wait, it started at Kosegruppa, when Isak and Even smoked and talked in the dark.

_ No. _ It started in the moment when Even saw Isak for the very first time. Even had just transferred to Nissen, and it was his first day at school. He saw this lanky, cute boy with curly, blonde hair and a sassy attitude. And Even just  _ knew _ . He had to get to know this guy. He just needed to. 

At first it wasn’t more than that. It was just this overwhelming curiosity and interest, and Even tried for weeks to find a way to get to know the boy. Almost two months passed by before he found out that he was joining Kosegruppa. At least he managed to get Isak’s name, and a phone number. And when he finally managed to lure Isak home with him that sunny afternoon, when he got to finally talk, and hang, and have some fun… he had been hopeful. 

He didn’t know what he hoped for, he just knew that it was  _ something _ .

When Sonja and her friends turned up, that magic seemed to disappear, though. And contacting Isak became difficult again. Even didn’t quite get why. Isak just never showed up at Kosegruppa again. When Even talked to Sonja, and she talked about him maybe having been hypomanic, he realized that he must have read too much into it all. He doubted that he  _ had  _ been hypomanic, but he let Sonja’s words lead him, like he so often had back then.

He tried to forget Isak. However, when he met Isak’s buddies at a Halloween party a little while later, he still couldn’t keep away. He knew it was an opportunity to get to know Isak as a friend. And a friendship would have to suffice. And it did. For a long time. They even survived the fact that Even had a manic episode and kissed Isak. And that Even avoided Isak for a while afterwards. 

Even had seen how it had hurt Isak, but he had felt like it was something he needed to do. Even knew he could never tell Isak how much it pained him to push Isak away. But he had to protect Isak from himself. 

He had wanted Isak so much, but he knew he couldn’t pull Isak into his life. Isak had needed him as a friend, not an obsessed admirer.

So Even stayed away. And stayed friendly. And they slowly started to hang together again and things was fine for a long time. Well, as fine as they could be. Because Even never forgot Isak, not really. 

And then Isak had started to work at KB. And they agreed on their stupid, amazing bet. Thinking about the overwhelming avalanche of events after that still took Even’s breath away. He had known that it was a stupid thing to do. He was already so attracted to Isak, and he knew that he would only fall deeper during that arrangement. He had still wanted to do it. Because, it was an opportunity to be close to Isak, and kiss him, and fuck him, and Even couldn’t let that chance slip away from him.

But now it was over. Isak had said that he wanted to stop. When Isak had called the bet off, he had broken Even’s heart. He had said it so matter of factly too, like they finished some business or a deal that meant nothing much. Even couldn’t understand how Isak could have been so sweet in his arms the night before and so cold in that minute. It hurt. 

Even didn’t really know why it had happened, either. Isak had seemed to be fine with everything, and their cabin trip had been so good. Well, Even had thought so. He had lost his heart to Isak ages ago, anyway, and he had feared the end, but apart from that, everything was good. They were getting so close. How could Isak want to end something like that? 

They only had one sleepover left, and then Isak could have been free. What was so bad that he couldn’t stand the thought of only one more sleepover?

That question spun in Even’s mind for ages after the cabin trip. Several weeks later, Even was still miserable. He told himself that he shouldn’t have expected anything, anyway. He knew Isak was more than he ever deserved. The whole thing was just a game, too, it had always been, and hoping for something more had been pointless. It still hurt.

He was supposed to celebrate his birthday with a big party in February, although he mostly wanted to call the whole thing off. 

The boys didn’t allow him to, though. 

– You need to get your mind on something else, Elias said. – It’s about time you get over whatever happened. 

– Yeah, you need to live, Mikael added.

The others didn't know about his and Isak’s arrangement, but they had probably picked up that Isak and Even weren't as close anymore. They didn’t understand how Even didn’t want to get his mind on something else. In fact, he didn’t want  _ anything  _ right now. How could he?

He hadn’t seen much of Isak lately. After New Year’s, Isak had been away from work for a few days, apparently because of a flu. Then it seemed like he had exchanged a shift or two, because Even seldom saw him. Isak hadn’t just called off the bet, he was avoiding Even. That hurt almost more than anything. Even couldn’t understand why Isak kept away. Had he done something wrong? Was Isak mad at him for some reason? Isak didn’t seem mad, though. When they met from time to time, everything was nice and friendly between them, but not like it used to be. There was no banter between them, no jokes. Just polite smiles and hellos and that was basically it. They weren’t even as friendly as they once were before the bet. Even had asked Isak if they could hang after work one evening, but Isak had just said that he was busy. So Even left it at that.

Even was resigned to thinking that this was it. He kind of regretted the whole thing. He should never have suggested the stupid bet. He knew he wanted more from the start, so why did he do it? 

He had just been so happy about seeing Isak at work and at getting to know him. And he loved the banter between them. And when he got the idea about the bet, he had to try. He had never guessed that Isak would say yes. But then he did, and Even couldn’t believe his luck. Finally he had a chance to get to know Isak. He knew the risk, though. He just thought that he already had fallen for Isak, so he wouldn’t have anything to lose.

Of course he had everything to lose. 

Why couldn’t he just have kept his mouth shut and stayed away? He could have kept Isak as a friend. It would have been so much better than this new cold distance between them. At the same time, Even couldn’t regret it. Not really. Given a second chance, he would probably do it all over again. Just so that he could have the memories of Isak and him together.

That was maybe why he decided to have his birthday party, after all, too. He had to admit that he still had this tiny hope that he would get a chance to talk to Isak again. If he came tonight. Even had invited Isak, but he didn’t know if he’d come, of course. He could understand it, if Isak wasn’t interested in coming.

On the night of the party everyone was there, Even’s old friends and new friends, both boys and girls. The atmosphere was good. But when Even saw Isak at the entrance, looking stunning and hot with tamed hair and a black suit, Even knew he would struggle to keep his feelings tamped down. They were both polite, though, and smiling, although Even almost wanted to shake Isak into life. 

_ And damn. Those green eyes _ . Isak handed Even a present, and Even couldn’t help feeling glad that Isak had thought about him enough to get him something. Then he blurted out that he hadn’t seen Isak for a while. Isak blushed as he said something about changing his shifts because of his classes. Even knew very well it had nothing to do with classes. Well, not only. 

– Yeah, of course, he said. And he tried not to look like he wanted to swallow Isak whole. He probably failed at it. Isak looked so good, and so familiar in a way, and so new at the same time, and everything inside of Even screamed that he needed to pull Isak close.

Then they were interrupted as Vilde dragged Even with her to the kitchen, asking him to find more glasses. Even helped her as well as he could, while his mind still was out in the living room, with Isak.  _ Fuck _ , he was so gone for him. 

– Are you having a good time? Vilde asked then, looking at him with her big, bright eyes. She was putting glasses and mugs on the counter.

– Yeah, I am, he nodded, still a little absent mindedly as he was helping her reach the top shelf. 

– Well, I just think it’s great how you have made us all come together, she said, and that made Even stop in his tracks. He looked at her. He didn’t know her that well, but he could see that she was sincere.

– You know, she said, throwing her hair back. – When you joined Kosegruppa, and later, when you started to hang with the boys, and you introduced us to your friends from Bakka, you kinda made us all feel more like a group. It’s nice.

Wow. Even didn’t know what to say to that, so he gave Vilde a hug instead. – Thanks, Vilde. You have done a lot to make that happen, too. You know that, right? With kosegruppa and the parties?

Vilde smiled then. – Yeah, she said. – I have, haven’t I? Good for us.

Even chuckled. – Yeah, good for us.

They both laughed as they entered the living room again. Vilde disappeared with the glasses and Even stood for a moment in the doorway, not knowing where to go next. Isak had moved, and seemed to be having a deep conversation with Jonas. Even didn’t want to intrude, so he walked over to Mikael and Elias, who were talking with Mahdi and Magnus. They seemed to be very passionate about something too, but when Even turned up, they were all about smiles and cheers. They chatted about movies, before Magnus threw out the question:

– So what’s up with Isak and you?

– What? 

The question caught Even off guard. He was pretty sure that Isak wasn’t totally out yet. He hadn’t told anyone about Even, anyway. So why did Magnus ask?

– Have you had a fight or something? Magnus asked.

– No, why?

– Well you were best buddies for a while, Elias said, – and now you hardly talk? 

Oh, the guys had noticed the change, of course. Even wished that he could talk about it, and let some of his frustrations out, but he knew it wasn’t what Isak wanted. He shrugged. – Have you asked Isak?

– Of course we have, Mahdi said. – He doesn’t say a fucking word.  

That wasn’t very surprising, but Even had to admit that he was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t learn more about Isak’s thoughts about it all. And he would definitely not share anything before clearing it with Isak. – Well, he said, – he’ll probably tell you when he’s ready, then. 

– Tell them what? 

Even felt a tingling feeling go through him when he heard Isak’s soft voice. He turned and met Isak’s green eyes.  _ God, those eyes _ …

And then Isak told them all that he wasn’t the fuckboy they thought he was. Even didn’t know why, but the fact that Isak told them all this, made him emotional. Isak often pretended to be this cool guy, who didn’t care about what others thought, but Even had learned that what Isak’s buddies thought, was really important to him. 

Of course, the boys were supportive and chill. Magnus was a little confused for a moment, but not for long. It made Even glad that Isak had friends like these.

When Isak glanced at Even with a question in his eyes, asking without words if he could tell the boys about them, Even was baffled, but pleased that Isak was doing it. And then Isak told them.  _ Even and I had a thing.  _ The blush on his cheeks did something to Even, although he didn’t want it to. Isak met Even’s eyes again, and this time it was Even’s turn to blush, as he suddenly remembered very well what their “thing” had been about.

And again, Magnus seemed confused while the others took it very calmly. Isak looked so grateful, and a little flabbergasted, like he didn’t expect this turn of events. Like he had expected bigger reactions, maybe? 

Even stared at Isak, still a little shocked that Isak had put it all out there. And he was proud, too. Ridiculously proud, he could almost feel his heart grow because of it. No matter what happened between them, he would never forget this moment. 

Isak met his eyes then. He must have picked up on some of Even’s feelings, because his blush darkened, and the look he gave Even was kind of proud and shy at the same time. And they smiled and they talked a little, and laughed a little, and God, this felt so good. Just a little talk, and some careful smiles. Even could live with this. If this was all he could get from Isak, he would take it. 

He just wished he knew why Isak had quit the bet, and avoided him. He should ask. He was kind of tired of not knowing. He should be inspired by Isak’s courage, and ask.

In the end, he asked Isak to have a little talk, as he felt his heart throbbing in his chest. And again, they ended up in the kitchen, standing at the counter. Even was too nervous to sit down. He noticed that he was still holding Isak’s gift in his hands, so he put it down on the bench, afraid that he would hold it so hard that he could break it.

Even had to take several breaths to muster up enough courage to say what he wanted. In the end, Isak’s nervous expression helped him to decide to get it over with.

So he asked Isak if he wasn’t interested in more. That he needed to know. He even told Isak that he had fallen for him.  _ Oh fuck. _ He said it.  _ Oh fucking hell. _

Isak stared at him, but his expression was impossible to read. Even felt a sudden dread then. What if Isak knew? What if the reason he ended the bet was because he knew? What if Isak didn’t want to talk about this at all? What if he had ruined everything now? The fear made him ask Isak all these questions, and he looked down and admitted that he knew he tended to fuck up and that he was sure Isak would end up hating him. That it was better to stop now, before that happened. He told Isak about the monotony of everyday life and about his fuckups.

Isak looked pale then, and almost a little angry. And he told Even it was a lousy excuse not to try. Then Isak said it. – I had to end this bet because... I had fallen in love with you already, Even.

He said he couldn’t take more of the wanting and wishing, just to lose it all in the end. And Even’s heart beat like a drum. He couldn’t believe it, but he had never seen Isak more serious. 

And that was it. They teased each other a little, and Isak rolled his eyes, in that adorable way he sometimes did, but he couldn’t hide that he had a tiny smile growing on his face. He was so cute. They laughed together, and it was the best feeling. 

They agreed to start over. No fucking bet, no games. They would talk. 

Then they stared at each other. And they kissed. The moment their lips touched, it was like the world vanished. Even’s eyes fell closed, and all he could feel was Isak. His warmth, his touch, his being. Even’s heart ached when Isak’s hands cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer. Even’s whole body craved more, craved Isak. When Isak pulled away for air, Even pulled him back in. Even was intoxicated—and it was okay. He was sure they would try this for real, and they would try to talk more, too. 

After a while they had to step back from each other and breathe for real. Even looked at Isak, yet again in his kitchen. Suddenly it hit him.

– Do you remember when we was here in the kitchen making cheese toasties and I had to kiss you? he asked.

Isak stared at him with a confused look on his face. – Uh, yeah?

– I said that I would tell you why someday. 

– Yes you did, Isak smiled. He pulled Even closer and nuzzled his nose. – Why was that?

– Well. I felt like I had to. Because, you remember the first time you visited me, right, that day we met at the tram and I was supposed to buy you beer?

– Yeah you totally failed at that, Isak laughed, but he looked almost saddened by the memory.

Even sighed, as he remembered all the lightheaded smiles, giggles and all the lingering looks. – I wanted to kiss you so badly that evening, especially when we were in the kitchen, making cheese toasties. But I didn’t dare to do it. And then… the others came, and then you kind of disappeared. So, when I finally got the chance to kiss you in my kitchen, I had to grab it. 

Isak stared at him. – Is that true? 

– Of course it is.  

– Whoa. But... you were with Sonja? 

Even felt a blush heat up his cheeks. – Yeah... Well, I guess… I still wanted to kiss you, though. 

Isak laughed then, and Even, too. They leaned into each other and Isak had that dazed look in his eyes again. He licked is lips and stared at Even’s. And when they kissed, and their lips touched, everything was soft, and gentle, and hot. Even couldn’t help it, he made a small sound in the back of his throat, and it seemed to encourage Isak. He moved closer and pulled Even tighter, parted his lips and kissed Even deeper. Even couldn’t help but respond, kissing Isak in a hot and feverish kiss. The need to feel Isak close and taste him was overwhelming. He wanted Isak more, closer, everywhere.

Then suddenly some of the girls were there, and they pulled the boys back into the party. And everything felt so right. Okay, Even maybe wanted to have Isak all to himself, but apart from that, everything was right. Even was there, Isak was next to him and Even was having a great time with his best friends. His family. They all had a good time, talking to everybody, drinking and dancing.  

It wasn’t until the other guests had gone, and he and Isak were tidying up in the kitchen, that Even started to feel nervous anticipation. The two of them worked in silence, and the vibe was strangely calm and exciting at the same time. There was a feeling of  _ this is good _ , but also a sweet tension between them, a small question of  _ what happens now  _ lingering in the room.

Then Even recalled his gift. – You gave me a birthday present, he said, picking it up from the counter. 

Isak put down the beer cans he had carried from the living room and looked at Even as he ripped off the paper. Even was excited, but Isak looked a little embarrassed. 

Even ripped the wrapping paper off and stared at what he had in his hand. It was a framed paper sheet of some sort. Not some sort. He knew exactly what it was.

– The survey, he said. – You took the fucking love survey.

Isak blushed now, and smiled a little. – Yeah. Before and after. I decided to give it to you, in case I chickened out and never told you. I thought that you deserved to know, you see. No matter what.

Even stared at the questions and answers.

_ How does he/she make you feel? _

_ Sad _

_ Nervous _

_ Cute/ confident _

_ Weird/ awkward  _

_ No different _

On the first survey, from when they started the bet, he had answered “weird/ awkward”, on the second one he had written “all of it”. Another question was: 

_ What do you like about him/her? _

_ Nothing _

_ How he/she is around me  _

_ Everything _

On the first he had answered “how he/ she is around me”, on the second “everything”.

_ How flawed is this person? _

_ Perfect _

_ Flawed, but I love the flaws _

_ Flawed, and they're irritating, but I love him/her nonetheless _

Even stared at the answers. The first time he had answered “ _ Flawed, but I love the flaws”.  _ The second time: “ _ Flawed, and they're irritating, but I love him/her nonetheless”.  _ There were a bunch of other questions, but Even didn’t care. “ _ I love him” _ , it said.

–  The first time I took it, before we started, I had a crush, apparently, Isak said. He flashed Even a cocky smile, but the color of his cheeks revealed that he was a little shy about it.  –  The second time, after the cabin trip, I was in love. This is science. No, that’s a load of crap, of course, it’s a stupid self test from the Internet. But still. I thought you should have it.

Isak released his breath. His smile was still lingering around his mouth, but his green eyes were sincere.

– Thank you, Even said, choking on his feelings. He couldn’t believe that Isak had done this, that he had been this brave. He put the frame down. He wanted to show Isak that he loved him, too. He just didn’t know how to. But he would find a way, he knew it. 

Isak looked a little embarrassed, but pleased with himself, too. – So, now you’ve got proof, he said. Something teasing glimmered in his eyes. – So… What do you say… Wanna go to your bedroom?   

He said it as a joke, but only partly. And Even would never say no to something like that. He laughed, a little shaky. – Yeah, I do. Let’s go, he said, and took Isak’s hand as he dragged him to his room. 

– Oh, Isak chuckled as he followed him. – Eager much?

– Fuck yeah, Even muttered. He was excited and lightheaded at the thought of finally having Isak to himself again. In his room. It wasn’t like it was the first time they had been alone, and it wasn’t the first time they’d done what they were about to do, but it was  _ different _ . They had been apart for a long time, and this was for  _ real _ , not a bet and not a game, and the thought of it made Even nervous and extremely turned on. – It’s just been so long, he said, as he closed the door behind them and turned to Isak. 

Isak looked at him with blown pupils and half-lidded eyes.  _ So gorgeous. _ His lips were parted and he took a deep breath. – Yeah. I know. I just... I missed you. And I wanna fuck you so bad, baby.

_ Oh. God, yes. _ Isak almost sounded drunk, although Even knew he hadn’t drunk much alcohol that evening. Just the sight and sound of him made Even feel elated though. He wanted Isak so badly. – Come here, he said, and pulled Isak close. 

As Isak leant forward Even’s pulse raced. A small lock of hair tumbled in front of Even’s face, resting just in front of his cheek, but with one swift slide of Isak’s thumb, it was brushed out of the way. Looking into his eyes Even saw deep forests of green that displayed his soul. His lips touched Even’s cheek. Time stopped. Even’s heart came to a halt. He had expected a deep kiss, but this… His breath caught in his throat. Their fingers locked together. As the soft skin of Isak’s mouth left the side of Even’s face, the exact spot where they had come into contact burned and tingled. A hot blazing fire pulsed through Even.  _ Fuck _ , this was amazing. A small grin crept onto his face and he could feel that his cheeks painted themselves rose red. Isak pulled away silently, but their eyes locked.

Even had to pull Isak back in. He cupped Isak’s face as he let his lips brush Isak’s and kissed him deeply. The sensations were so soft and so sweet, that Even had to close his eyes and lose himself in them. Warmth spread through his entire body. Isak’s hands drifted to his hips and pulled him closer, and Even inhaled deeply. It felt so good, to have Isak’s warm body pressing against his. Isak begun nuzzling his neck with small kisses, and Even shivered. Then Isak found his lips again and kissed him deeply, making him breathless and desperate. 

– Come, Even slurred, and took Isak’s hand and lead him to his bed. He was lightheaded and horny, and he almost couldn’t think straight. He just wanted Isak. 

Their deep kisses made them stumble a little as they fell down on the matresss, and they ended up panting and giggling in each other's arms, on the bed. Their giggles got muffled in the sheets, the duvets and their kisses. Isak lay close enough for Even to breathe in his scent. His arms wrapped around Even’s back and in one gentle pull their skin touched. Even felt Isak’s hand in his hair, and he could see in his eyes how he loved it. Then Isak’s hand moved down Even’s cheekbones to his lips. That's when the kissing started again and they started to move together on the bed. Their bodies fit together as if they were made just for this, to fall into one another. 

Even wondered for a moment if this would feel different, now that they knew that this was more than a bet. But it never was  _ just  _ a bet, was it? He realized that his feelings hadn’t changed much since the first time he was intimate with Isak. His feelings were deeper now, of course. But he had had strong feelings for Isak back in the beginning, as he had strong feelings for Isak now. Maybe the difference wouldn’t be that big, after all. 

Isak looked at Even with want in his eyes. Even stroked his curls by his temple, and kissed him slowly. He hoped that he could give Isak the calmness and sureness he felt. Isak relaxed into his kisses, and sighed. And here they were, together, in the bed, where there were no games anymore. Even felt lightheaded and ridiculously happy. He would never stop kissing Isak. He pulled Isak’s hips closer, and lost himself in the kiss. Soon the need took over. Every kiss had a raw intensity – breathing fast, heart rates faster. 

With a small huff of a laugh Even rolled them over so he ended up on his back. They locked eyes for just a moment, just enough for them to feel safe with one another. Then Even was all business, undoing his suit pants and pulling them off. Isak kissed Even’s chest and belly, down to his groin. Even felt his back arch in anticipation, knowing where Isak’s fingers and mouth would soon reach. His head rocked back against the pillow as Isak reached his target, the first moan escaping his lips.

Before Even knew how it happened they were both naked and their skin was moving softly together, like the finest of silk. Isak knelt over Even, bent down and sucked on his dick. Even closed his eyes when he felt Isak’s lips and tongue working on him. He shivered, and couldn't believe how good it felt. He opened his eyes again, staring at the beautiful sight of Isak between his legs. The feeling and the sight of it made him dizzy. While Isak still was sucking and licking his dick, he let his hand caress the insides of Even’s thighs and then slide up between his cheeks. Even groaned when Isak’s fingers stroked over his rim.

Isak had slowed down a bit, though, and there was something tentative about his movements. When Even noticed, it was as if something clicked into place inside of him. They had talked about this. Sometimes Isak liked to be in control, and sometimes he liked to let go. Just like Even. This time, it seemed like Isak was more laid back. It almost seemed like he wanted Even to take charge. 

– You okay? Even whispered.

Isak nodded and curled himself around Even. – Yeah… I just… I wanna lose myself in you, he muttered. 

Even`s heart sped up.  _ Oh God _ . He was so ready for this. He sat up and carefully manhandled Isak around. – On your back, he mumbled. – I think... I wanna ride you. Can I do that?

Isak looked at him. Then he just nodded and let out a moan, he seemed unable to articulate a response. 

Even kissed him deeply. Now it was his turn to move over Isak’s body. Even kissed from Isak’s chest to his stomach, his hands light; then he was licking and using his fingers all at once, watching Isak’s reaction, feeling how his legs moved, watching his body writhe.

– Give me your hand, Even muttered, as he was crouching over him. Isak moaned as Even lubed up Isak’s fingers and lead them between his own cheeks so Isak could open him up.

Even felt Isak’s fingers on his rim, while their tongues entwined in a kiss.  _ Oh god, oh god, oh god.  _ Isak’s fingers felt so good, massaging the skin around and inside of his entrance, and Even didn't know how to handle it. He could feel all the thousands of little nerve endings in that sensitive area. He spread his legs and arched his back, giving Isak more room to play. 

Isak chuckled softly, he seemed in awe of Even’s enthusiasm. Isak teased Even a little, as he circled, tested and brushed over Even’s opening. Even was aching for more, and his dick was so hard that it almost hurt. – Please, Even begged, kissing Isak’s neck, – now, please, Isak,  _ fuck. _

And  _ thank God _ , Isak wasn’t teasing Even for long today. He quickly let Even have his way, tenderly sticking his finger inside. Fucking him with his finger. Then two fingers. Even crouched over Isak and whimpered and pushed onto Isak’s fingers, aching to feel more, always more.  _ Fuck, so good…  _ He grabbed onto his own dick and stroked it slowly while Isak fucked his fingers inside of him. Even shivered, and moaned, and knew that he was about to come. 

_ Not yet _ . He reached down and pulled Isak’s hand away. – Let me… he mumbled. The look of Isak under him was breathtaking. Isak’s hair was a mess, his chest and cheeks were red and his lips were swollen. His green eyes held Even’s, captured in a dark gaze. Even wanted him so badly, he could hardly think. He grabbed hold of Isak’s dick and let himself finally sink down on him.  _ Now _ , Even thought.  _ Thank fuck. Now _ . His body shivered as he opened up and took more of Isak. Then Isak was moving inside of him, changing Even’s breathing with every thrust, and with every move Even made.   

Even felt fearless and vulnerable at the same time, sitting astride Isak, and enjoying him. Holding his gaze, and feeling that they were one. Even loved the sensation of Isak´s muscles quivering under his touch, knowing that he was the one that made Isak feel like this. Isak’s eyes were dark green as he locked Even to him with his gaze. Even shivered. How could this be real? Even felt so good right now, and alive. And Isak was here, with him. He was so beautiful that Even hardly could breathe.

At first they moved slowly, but then they started moving faster and faster. Isak stared at him with a lost look in his eyes, and he breathed heavily as Even pushed down on him, lifted himself and pushed down again.  _ You're mine _ , Even thought, like in a fever.  _ Mine _ . He drowned himself in Isak`s gaze, dazed by his strong feelings. This thing happening between them felt so right. The feeling was overwhelming.

Even’s movements seemed to drive Isak wilder and wilder. Even grabbed his hands and intertwined their fingers. All the time he watched Isak watching him. Isak’s green eyes were so full of fondness that it was breathtaking.

Then Isak hit his prostate, and  _ oh fuck _ . Even was shaking. The feeling was so overwhelming that he didn't know what to do. 

Isak looked dazed under him, like he was close to coming. His dark green eyes looked into Even’s. – I`m so... close, Isak slurred. – Even...

Even moaned. – Please…

Isak reached for Even’s dick, and stroked it, as Even continued pushing up and down on him. Even felt bombarded with sensations. He met Isak’s gaze, the feelings became too much, and he didn’t have a chance. He came in an overwhelming orgasm, shaking and shivering all over. Isak followed him in the next moment, with a deep groan.

Isak breathed fast and hard under him, and was still keeping eye contact. – Oh my God, he murmured, before pulling Even closer and kissing him on the lips.

Even’s heavy breathing turned into a giggle. – God, actually, he laughed against Isak’s lips. – I’ve been called a lot of things, but that’s a first.

Isak laughed into the kiss, although he was still breathing hard.

Even leant his forehead to his. – So, are you going to say it? he asked, as he took Isak’s hands in his. He then tangled their fingers together.

– Say what?

Even gave him a challenging look, but ruined it a bit as he giggled. – That I’m the master of love? 

Isak laughed a startled laugh. Even couldn’t hold his smile back, he loved the sight of a slightly annoyed but also slightly amused Isak. – We didn’t even finish the bet, Even, Isak said. – But,  _ fine _ , whatever. You’re the master of love.

They both smiled and laughed, and they kissed, and things were starting to heat up between them again. Even stared into Isak’s eyes, feeling so much love that it almost hurt. And he knew that there was no better time to say it. – I love you too, he said. – Not just as a friend, or a fucking friend, or a lover. I just… kinda love you.

Isak breathed, leaned closer, and kissed him. – Good, he said, with a teasing smile. – That’s all good. Now, we’re going to chill a little, and then I’ve got a survey you need to fill out, to prove it. 

Even had to throw his head back and laugh. – I do, do I?

Isak laughed too. – Yeah. For science. 

– Mmm, Even agreed, suddenly feeling too tired to attempt much more communication. He was completely spent, and safe, and  _ home _ . He slid down next to Isak, and the two of them lay on the bed, holding each other. Even gave Isak a sleepy kiss. – For science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. Please leave me a comment if you like it or not! :) By the way, you can find me on Tumblr as [@crazyheartfics](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/crazyheartfics) and on Insta as [@crazyheartfics](https://www.instagram.com/crazyheartfics), too.


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